TWH 03/16/16 New Obama Conspiracy Revealed!

Mole

Guaca, The Zoo’s underground reporter digs up a new exclusive.

 

According to anonymous sources within the Democratic Party, there’s a conspiracy afoot to deny the nomination to both Hillary and Bernie and nominate Obama for a third term. Polling seems to indicate that neither candidate will garner enough delegates to win the nomination outright, which means superdelegates will control the outcome. A conspiracy amongst the superdelagates would guarantee neither gets enough votes on the first round to lock up the nomination, thus throwing the convention into a brokered nomination, out of which Obama will get the nod.

Officials high up in the White House figured out a way around the Constitution’s prohibition against 3rd terms. It seems that in the course of adopting certain amendments, like abolishing slavery and allowing people to vote regardless of the color of their skin, no one bothered to repeal the language that counted black people as 3/5ths of a person.

Since Obama is only 3/5ths of a person (or 60%, for you math wizards out there), by the end of his 8 years in office, he will only really have completed 4.8 years (or 60% of 8 years, for the math wizards). Since Obama hasn’t completed two full terms in office, he would be eligible for a third term.

OPEN THREAD 

29 thoughts on “TWH 03/16/16 New Obama Conspiracy Revealed!

  1. Can’t Obama just declare martial law? There are so many angry people who are going to be so disappointed when he leaves office without declaring martial law.

    • Yes, poor Alex Jones in particular. If he had any integrity, immediately upon seeing Obama step down he’d perform hara kiri and make the world a much better place. He won’t do that, of course. His “gut” would tell him not to.

  2. Fox’s Meghan McCain: Nominating Judge Garland Is Why ‘People Hate President Obama’

    Fox News contributor Meghan McCain asserted Wednesday that President Barack Obama had effectively destroyed the career of appeals court judge Merrick Garland by nominating him to the Supreme Court.

    Obama is SO BLAH . . . errmm . . . MEAN! And SO self-centered! He won’t even nominate somebody the Republicans really HATE! No, that would be too EASY, and way too GENEROUS! He’s so . . . ICK!!

    • “We were for the Constitution before we were against the Constitution”

      – Turtlefaced McChinless

      • Ideally what will happen is that the Dems will elect the next Pres. and retake the Senate, and then the new Pres will nominate a Justice who’s as far to the left as Scalia was to the right, and s/he’ll be instantly confirmed. And then Ginsburg and Breyer and Kennedy will retire, each to be replaced with a radical leftist justice — each really young — and the court will be leftist for the foreseeable, and will instruct the Congressional Diaper Truck to no longer make daily stops.

        Fun to dream sometimes.

    • Guaca Mole is one of The Zoo’s bestest underground reporters. Guaca Mole digs up stuff no other reporter dares. He is in no relation to Walker, nor Walker Mole.

      Fyi, Guaca comes from south of the border, having dug his way here through the sands of the desert, or the Desert Sands….whatever….

    • Only a truly divisive President would nominate someone the opposition party would agree to, but for the opposition party taking the position that the opposition party won’t even consider anyone the President nominates.

      • Some GOP skidmark (Chris Vance – running against Murray in WA this year) crawled out from under his rock on NPR today blamed McChinless for pouring himself ‘in concrete’ and then blamed ‘Washington both sides for not working together’ and that ‘traditionally we don’t name SCOTUS in last year’ –

        You know I hate getting out of my car at the bus stop at 6am yelling ‘You fucking lying asshole’ as I am getting out…

  3. Slow dawning of what the Drumpf goosestep to the nomination means…. about Americans….

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/03/its-absolutely-terrifying-british-tv-hosts-shudder-for-our-world-after-realizing-trump-could-win/

    At the bottom the Putin comment – they totally don’t get it – Drumpf admires Putin and Putin admires Drumpf – fascists sticking together… Drumpf on FP – are 20% of Americans really this stupid?

    http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2016/03/trump-foreign-policy-advisers-speaking-with-myself

      • The better question is, are the 20% that are this stupid still smart enough to get past the Republican voter restriction laws?

  4. Chuck Grassley, Mitch McConnell and the GOP senate caucus discuss President Obama’s SCOTUS pick

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