Hump Day 3/8/17

Wow. Hooda thunk… all those folks who came here in the bottom of slave ships were nothing but illegal immigrants looking for a better life for themselves and their children, grandchildren, great grandchildren or God knows who of their prodigy that would finally be free of their illegal immigrant status.

Even now Bannon Trump is working on an executive order that declares all offspring of illegal immigrants to be illegal immigrants themselves. Preliminary drafts suggest Trump plans to get around the XIV Amendment by simply refusing to enforce any laws that grant such people citizenship status.

It is rumored that the executive order won’t be signed until after Trump hires 10,000 more ICE officers, as massive deportations will be pre-planned to coincide with the signing. Once the targeted individuals are out of the country, Trump plans on denying them reentry.

Unexpected opposition is expected to come from mob bosses, whose Mafioso roots trace back to Italians who immigrated “Without Papers“.

OPEN THREAD

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53 thoughts on “Hump Day 3/8/17

  1. Report: Obama ‘Livid’ Over Trump Tweets

    Former President Obama is “livid” with anger about President Trump’s latest accusations of wiretapping and hasn’t returned the new commander in chief’s phone calls since the inauguration, according to a new report in The Wall Street Journal. Trump reportedly called his predecessor to thank him for the letter he left in the Oval Office but that overture was never returned.

    Ha! Obama won’t return Trump’s calls and now he really has a reason to ignore him. Trump isn’t smart enough to know when he steps over the line of decency. The other night Lawrence O’Donnell basically made the closing argument for why Trump should be impeached, in the opening of his show. I don’t think the GOP can afford to have him dragging them lower and lower for four full years, and the longer they keep him around, the lower they will get.
    We knew W was stupid, but he generally stayed within the limits his writers gave him. Trump never will. There’s also the possibility he’s slipping into Dementia.

  2. My grandfather was born in Sweden circa 1858. He wound up in S.Minnesota circa 1890, but there is no familial evidence that he ever became a US citizen. My dad was born in 1905, the last of four offspring from what may well have been an undocumented immigrant.

    So. Here’s my grand hope: I’ll be declared illegal and will be deported to the place of my choice. I might choose Sweden, but Bora Bora also seems ‘inviting,’ sotospeak. I’ll go without a fight. All Trump has to do is pay all the costs and promise me I’ll never have to see his face or hear his voice ever again, and that my Social Security income will not disappear. If he does all that, I promise I’ll NEVER again laugh at his stupid hairdo or remark about his tiny hands and the implications thereof.

    God, I am SO FREAKIN’ REASONABLE!!

  3. Yes, those Africans who were captured and sold to slave masters, chained and loaded on ships to the ‘new world’, were obviously dissatisfied with their homeland, and wanted to be beaten, whipped and worked to death on plantations in said new world.
    And this nonsense comes from the newly minted ‘Secretary of Slave Holdings and Urban Jungles.

  4. Ryan says its Trump’s plan and Trump says its Ryan’s plan!

    I say its Trump’s Unbelievable Replacement Deal, The TURD Plan. 🙂

  5. Most of you know my depth of interest in Ukraine, Russia’s annexation of Crimea and invasion of Donbas – at the GOP Convention in Cleveland, a surprising plank in the GOP platform appeared almost out of nowhere – the normally Russia-phobic GOP threw Ukraine under the bus. what was the quid pro quo? Maddow digs in – now who will take this up and corroborate it? Jason ‘fookin weasel’ Chaffetz? Devin ‘another reacharound Mr President?’ Nunes?

  6. Rich Lowery thinks Trump could be ‘LBJ with a Twitter feed’. Well maybe. He COULD get us into an unnecessary war, and waste US lives and treasure, and approximate LBJ’s record.

    • I hear you loud and clear. My older daughter is half Hispanic. My younger daughter’s husband was born in Mexico. My brother’s wife is Hispanic, so I have two nephews and a niece who are half Hispanic. As for me, three of my grandparents were Swedes, one was German. IOW, I’m not quite a ‘pure’ half-breed, but definitely am the product of “somebody else’s babies.” My paternal granddad came here from Sweden when he was about thirty years old, and no one around today knows whether he was here ‘legally’ or not, so I just might be the offspring of an anchor baby! (I’m so ashamed).

      King’s clearly a stupid shit (i.e. he’s clearly a Republican). This country as it stands today WAS built on “somebody else’s babies.” Funny how King doesn’t at all look like he’s of Lakota, or Ioway, or Ponca, or Osage, or Omaha, or even Algonquian heritage. He looks a lot more like maybe he’s descended from white-man immigrants, maybe even “illegals.”

      Come to think of it, most other Amurkkkans alive today are descended from “somebody else’s babies” too. Even our Hair Furor Precedent Drumpf. No wonder the country’s so fucked up.

  7. Borowitz: “If she’s sick of her words being distorted, Kellyanne should stop going on TV and just talk directly to her microwave.”

  8. Everything We Know About Trumpland’s Ties To Russia, From Start To Finish

    What’s up with Donald Trump and Russia?

    Depending on whom you ask, the answer to that question is either absolutely nothing or a scandal so huge it will lead to the president’s impeachment. So far, it’s unclear if either side is right. The truth may lie somewhere between the two extremes.

    Trump’s camp has maintained that contact between the campaign and Russia was inconsequential and in some cases nonexistent, a claim that has proved untrue. We now know that members of Trump’s campaign met with Russian officials as the nation was apparently meddling in the U.S. presidential election with the goal of helping Trump win. If there’s any evidence of collusion between the president or his associates and Russia, however, it hasn’t been released.

    Our timeline documents 30 years of Trump and his circle’s connections to Russia, which entered the spotlight in 2015 with the assembly of a campaign staff and platform that showed unprecedented levels of friendliness toward a historical adversary of the United States. The House Intelligence Committee will hold its first public hearing on the matter next week, which will hopefully provide further clarity about what all of this means, if anything.

    The timeline starts in 1987. There’s so much here, you need this just to keep it all straight.

      • The Amurkkkan health insurance ‘industry’ wants to continuously collect ‘substantial’ monthly premiums from everyone, with but one proviso: they don’t want to get hit with any bills from doctors, hospitals, clinics, etc. Takes way too much out of their profit, plus makes it more tricky to pay their CEOs $50 million per year. Add that to all the agents, accountants and secretaries they have to pay just to keep track of what’s coming in, and clearly there’s SO much going out already. Better to no longer have to worry about sick people. Let them eat cake.

        Fortunately, the Republicans understand all of that and constantly work in the insurance companies’ favor. Obama? Nope. The greedy foreign-born commie-fascist-Muslim bastard obviously didn’t care a single whit about insurance company bottom lines. Even made ’em pay for contraceptives. Godless fool.

        • This is the best damned argument for single payer.
          Ask the Dutch, Germans, how they manage to get by without the for profit insurance industry sucking their 25%+ out of the system.
          Answer? Just fine, thank you.

  9. Rachel Maddow has a new exclusive tonight about Trump’s taxes.

      • These tax returns will show Trump’s MO.
        He gets suckers to invest their money.
        He pays himself lavish salaries, mismanages them into bankruptcy
        He writes off millions in losses of other people’s money
        That’s his scam.
        That’s exactly what he’s going to do to this nation.

      • Bit of a wet weekend that story was …. but now can we see the rest? 2013, 2014 would be good ones – the ones after Putin bailed him out of a hotel room full of pee?

  10. Morning Joke in Twitter spat today:

    • There’s this saying in the State of Washington that if you reduce a low income family’s assistance, they’re screwed. How bout that Spicy>? Do you EFFING understand those words?

    • As my Mom turned 90, my dad passed away, and she relied on meals on wheels for most of her dinners. Would Trump prefer she ate cat food?>

    • Perhaps they’ll allow him to perform a self inflicted sterilization procedure with that weapon he’s showing off. Blow off your Johnson, Ralph, and be a REAL Shortey.

  11. Lunatica at DU proposed that Trump thinks Meals on Wheels means taco trucks and that is why he wants to cut the funding.

  12. Today, one thing that Trump said to Angela Merkel was reported in writing as “I am a trader, I am a fair trader.” I think the reporter misquoted him, that the word ‘trader’ is miispelled. Should be ‘traitor’. Far more accurate.

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