TWH; May 10 2017; The Apostatic Creed

After Comey’s firing, White House openly pushes for conclusion of FBI’s Russia investigation

Gripping headline, that one. Made me think that before all this Trump Reign (Trump Rain??) is over, he may declare it mandatory that all of us “skeptics” had better switch tracks and spout our allegiance to the genius and grandeur of our new Führer, the former Orange Shitgibbon, or “It vill be da verse for you.”

So. Here it is. My effort to help each and all of Progressive mindset become the equivalent of a religious Apostate, to offer (at no charge!) the means to demonstrate abandonment and renunciation of those core beliefs, of that Democratic Credo, to substitute the pretense of embracing the contrasting stupidity of, for lack of a better word, Trumpissm.

Please understand the difficulty of the process, how hard it is to spout the pure BS demanded by illiterate ‘strongmen’ such as those who define today’s Republican Party. I know there must be the occasional faux pas embedded, but since only Progressives have the mentality to spot a faux pas in the first place, there’s no need to worry.

Good luck, and remember: this is to make HIM feel good, not you!

******

THE APOSTATIC CREED

I believe!

I believe in the Donald J. Trump!

(May, 2017)

I believe in Donald J. Trump, our almighty  Prophet  Profit who sitteth on the Throne of his Sainted Peter, aka the Throne of Amurkkka!

I believe in the Holy Ghosts of Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan! I believe that their collective  dementia  wisdom persisteth through this very day and prospereth well in other equally  hollowed  hallowed minds including (but clearly not limited to) those named Pence, Ryan, McConnell, Bannon, Chaffetz, Nunes, Issa, Cruz, Sessions, DeVos, … the list of Grand Republicans is interminable!

I believe in the Holy Christer Nation called Amurkkka and in her God named Profit! I believe in the rape of the environment for our Profit’s sake! I believe in the oppression of we the people for Profit! I believe in the theft for our Profit of any and all resources public and private! I believe in the mining of wilderness, the logging-off of forests, offshore drilling, and the paving of land anywhere and everywhere when Profit is the reward! I believe in unlimited air and water pollution and in the tailpipes, smokestacks, sewer pipes, and politicians that produce same, all for our Holy Profit! I believe in our Great Profit’s future thanks to the sale of National Parks and wild lands to miners and drillers and developers! I believe that Saint Reagan’s Interior Secretary (and super-fine Republican) James Watt was spot-on correct when he said, “God gave us these things to use! After the last tree is felled, Christ will come back!” Yay!

I believe, too, in other  quasi-religious quackeries  Religious Freedoms, including Intelligent Design, the overturning of Roe v. Wade, the prohibition of Birth Control, all together with a constitutionally-mandated hatred of Homosexuals and Transgenderinos! I believe Public Education is the Work of the Debbil! and must be treated as such! I believe in Junk Science, especially when it disavows global warming or quits protecting endangered species BECAUSE: there’s a lot more Profit to be made when there are no (legal) consequences that get in the way of the process of making money!

I believe in the Wealthy and in their right to destroy all else in favor of their own comfort! I believe in WAR!! I believe in imperialism, and in the theft of needed resources from any other land on the globe! I believe it’s the Right of the Wealthy to start wars even as it’s their right to avoid fighting in them! I believe it’s the Right of the Wealthy to force the poor and the powerless to fight in their place and to die, to be permanently maimed or driven insane in the process (I mean, who really cares, you know?)! I believe it’s the Right of the Wealthy to enjoy any and all privilege and to deny all others the same through any level of chicanery, legal or illegal! I believe that The Law applies NOT to the Wealthy, only to everybody else!

I believe in massive government Power! I believe in unlimited profligate and wastrel spending, and especially in the Orwellian doublespeak lingo it takes to cover up, to mask, and to always deny the Fascistic Union of Government Power with Corporate Profit! I believe it is the duty of the masses to work always on behalf of Power and Profit for the Few! I believe that unlimited Power of the Few is necessary to promote the unlimited Power of the State both at home and around the globe! I believe that the Power of the State and the Power of the Few are one with Profit, therefore are one with God Hisseff! (He who sits atop his Sainted Peter whilst on the Throne! Damn, that felt good!)!

I believe in the Second Amendment, but not the other twenty-six! Instead, I believe that the Constitution is exactly as Donald J. Trump has said, that “It’s really a bad thing for the country”! I further believe that the constitutionality of the words “high crimes and misdemeanors” (as reasons to impeach a President) refer only to Oval Office blow jobs and have nothing to do with political malfeasance of any kind, including the (warrantless) final and total theft of all liberties and freedoms of Americans everywhere, including taking health care away from its lazy bums!

I believe in the H-Bomb and in Amurkkka’s right to use it (or threaten to) on anyone who pisses us off, especially when those who piss us off ain’t white, and/or when they look like Chinamen! I believe that spending more money on “defense” (i.e. WAR!) than the next dozen nations combined is necessary to keep Amurkkka free and to ensure forever Yuge Profits! And we’re gonna BUILD THAT WALL And keep them Spics out of Amurkkka!

I believe that “thinking” is a left-wing-liberal-pinko plot! I believe in the emergent Teabagger Fascism which requires no “thinking” at all, only obedience: Amurkkka über alles!! (to coin a phrase)! I believe in NASCAR, Christmas, Columbus, and the Super Bowl (so long as some black chick doesn’t sing and dance in front of white folks), but not in Martin Luther King and all the dirt he done! I believe that guns, “quads,” dirt bikes, snowmobiles, and even the “Minutemen” are the greatest Creations in all of history! Gifts from God The Profit! YeeHaw!

I believe! I’m a Trumpisst! I’m a REPUBLICAN, and my slogan is
as Simple as ME:

I Got Mine!! Screw Everybody Else, and . . .

Make Amurkkka Great Again!

Amen!

Whew.

******

OPEN THREAD

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48 thoughts on “TWH; May 10 2017; The Apostatic Creed

  1. Here is a list of things that are not normal in the last 24 hours:

    * The FBI director acknowledging he lied/misled/obfuscated in front of congress on a question that was completely irrelevant to what the committee was supposed to be hearing
    * The President firing the director of the FBI while he is under FBI investigation
    * The Attorney General signing a letter recommending firing said FBI director while he is “recused” from both the investigation of the President *and* the investigation that makes up the purported excuse for the firing.
    * The President not contacting the FBI director to tell him he is fired prior to releasing it to the press
    * The President sliding into a firing letter the claim that he has been informed he is not under investigation, particularly when that investigation, or lack thereof, has nothing to do with the purported reason for the firing.
    * The press secretary hiding from the press in the bushes
    * The press secretary (and everyone else in the white house) being completely unprepared to explain the firing of a major official to the public
    * Russian press being given access to a meeting between a Russian official and the President in the white house, but American press not
    * A Presidential spokesperson claiming that an inquiry that is ongoing and reportedly just resulted in Grand Jury subpoenas has “found nothing” and we should let it go
    * A reporter being arrested for persistently questioning a cabinet official
    * Congressional members of the President’s party normalizing any of this.

    • Trump’s America is showing the telltale signs of a failing state

      … we are showing the telltale signs of a failing state. Our government has ceased to function. Party politics and gross self-interest have rendered the majority party oblivious to its responsibilities to its constituents and the Constitution of the United States. On a daily basis, Republicans watch their leader violate not only the traditions and standards of the high office he occupies, but through inaction they enable him to personally profit from the presidency, promote policies that benefit his cronies and his class to the detriment of the majority of the American people, and serially attack the principles on which the country was founded — from freedom of religion to the separation of powers.

      Aside from people with functioning brains, who could have ever even imagined …?

    • I truly wish he would find a small town in the heartland somewhere call ‘cognito’, and effing go and stay there, away from the tough business of running, as opposed to the ruining, of the nation.

  2. I love the Apostatic creed, may I offer a single amendment to be appended.
    This credo is based upon the age old principle of “I Got Mine, Screw Everybody Else”.
    Perhaps inserted right after the ‘Law applies not to the Wealthy” part.
    Thank you.
    And, to Mr. D.T. OrangeShitGibbon;
    Dear Drumpfukle, you are obviously in pain, and cannot seem to figure out that ‘running’ a nation, bears no similarity to anything you’ve ever done. Please accept this fact, and do everyone in this nation a huge favor. Make America Great again, by resigning with whatever grace, dignity and aplomb you can muster.
    Thank You. And, yes, I am Cerious.

  3. “I Got Mine, Screw Everybody Else”.
    They really do feel this way. I attended a town hall with the hideous Dave Brat and there was a horrible mouthy old woman who kept interrupting everybody. Her main complaint was that children could stay on their parents insurance until 26, and that anyone still in school at that age is likely useless. Her insurance: Medicare and her husband’s IBM retiree insurance (yes, this used to exist).

  4. It heartens me to see the results of a recent Quinniesomethingorother poll that finds:
    Voters Describe Trump As ‘Idiot’ and ‘Liar’ in Disastrous New Poll

    What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of Donald Trump? (Numbers are not percentages. Figures show the number of times each response was given. This table reports only words that were mentioned at least five times.)

    idiot 39
    incompetent 31
    liar 30
    leader 25
    unqualified 25
    president 22
    strong 21
    businessman 18
    ignorant 16
    egotistical 15
    asshole 13
    stupid 13
    arrogant 12
    trying 12
    bully 11
    business 11
    narcissist 11
    successful 11
    disgusting 10
    great 10
    clown 9
    dishonest 9
    racist 9
    American 8
    bigot 8
    good 8
    money 8
    smart 8
    buffoon 7
    con-man 7
    crazy 7
    different 7
    disaster 7
    rich 7
    despicable 6
    dictator 6
    aggressive 5
    blowhard 5
    decisive 5
    embarrassment 5
    evil 5
    greedy 5
    inexperienced 5
    mental 5
    negotiator 5
    patriotism 5

    Surprising that only 6 respond dictator, and 5 evil…

  5. Thank you Brotren Frugal for your inspiring words. Now we are in a new millenia, we need to enter the Fifth Dimension, the Age of Aquarius and embrace the fact that if we don’t start dealing with the reality of humanity, the Big Lawnmower in the Sky is going to mow us down.

    In Humanities name, I hope.

    • As corrupt and self-dealing as the Bush Family Evil Empire was, they could all stay on the same page.

  6. One thing to think about, (at 2+ Old Stock Ale 2016s, when I do my best thinking, it seems).
    Trump is EXPENDABLE. Very few presidents have actually been as expendable as this one. If he expired tomorrow, via heart attack, stroke, aneurysm, or polonium cocktail (ha ha), we wouldn’t suffer one effen bit! Sure, Pence would be president, but things would not be worse! UNLESS, having Trump stay as POTUS gives the Dems more chance to really flip at least one chamber of Congress in 2018. We’re in a win-win situation here, IMHO.

    • “The odious” seem to feel more empowered than I’ve seen or sensed in my entire life, thanks to Trump. AFAIC, that is the best of all reasons to demand impeachment (plus conviction and imprisonment).

      I don’t understand irrational hatred. Rational yes, sadly; irrational, no clue.

    • Happy Mother’s Day Zooey! I’m celebrating by forcing my son to pound tomato stakes into the ground.

      • Thank you, Jane. 🙂 I’m “blessed” to have both of my men staying with me right now. Halp.

        But I can’t be too hard on them, cuz they bought me some totally legal pot for my special day. I’ll be making a butt load of cannabutter tomorrow, so I’ll be good for a while. 😉

        • You know Zooey, I used to love you for your wit, but knowing now that you make edibles, well…. I’m beyond loving you for just your wit, which I can experience here, at the Zoo, now I’m infatuated with the thought of enjoying the output of your culinary endeavours, which I can’t do here! 😥

          Ditto to what OIMF says below.

          So, you have single men rooming with you, I trust you don’t serve elderberry wine!

          • I keep thinking, for whatever odd reason, about edible soap?

            Curious thing about aging — it’s tricky to tell whether, after reaching a certain point, one starts to get younger every day, or if continuously getting older screws up both physical and mental processes to the point where reality automatically inverts?

            I’ve arrived at that point.

            But still I gotta wonder about Trump: did he eat some really good soap, or was he born that way?

  7. Interesting take on Trump from a conservative writer. This was featured on Meet the Press.

    Trump’s Brand Is Crisis

    You hear it all the time: President Trump hasn’t been tested, hasn’t faced a real crisis. The events of the last few weeks, however, have made me want to turn that formulation around. Trump doesn’t face crises so much as manufacture them. In a way he is the crisis, and his presidency is in danger of being defined not by any legislative or diplomatic achievement but by his handling of the multiplying and daunting obstacles he creates for himself.

    I do disagree that Trump was fairly elected. Too many voting precincts in key states used unverifiable touch screen voting machines for his victory to be conclusive. Too many voters were deleted from the voting registers too close to the election as well.

  8. Todd Rundgren/Donald Fagen – (The Man In The) Tin Foil Hat
    (you must listen to the words to get who this is about)

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