About Briseadh na Faire

I am what I am.

The Watering Hole, Wednesday, 7/15/15: Scientists discover strange features on Pluto

Pluto, first discovered in 1930, looked nothing like it looks today:

Pluto, 1930

Pluto, 1930

Oh. You were expecting this?

Pluto, 2015

Pluto, 2015

And, amazingly, we now have our first historic glimpse of what are believed to be carbon-based biological life-forms on Pluto, photographed by the New Horizons mission:

So, which clowns still have (humorously large) cold feet?

No one knows yet if these specimens, dubbed “Plutonicons“, are sentient beings, as we only have photographs to go by.  While they do look a little like smiling humanoid heads, the project’s scientists’ initial cautious analysis says, in part, “…it could be just a trick of the light and shadows.”

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The Watering Hole, Wednesday, July 1, 2015: Activist Judges and What Can Be Done About Them

Gentle readers,

My colleagues in the 2016 presidential race are falling all over themselves because of the Supreme Court’s ruling that gays can get married. Some have called for a Constitutional Amendment to make the Justices have to run for re-election. Let’s face it, every time the Supreme Court overturns the will of the majority by telling them that what they want to do is unconstitutional, my fellow conservatives rail against this as judicial activism. Now, amending the Constitution takes a lot of effort. It’s much easier to use the remedy already in the Constitution: Impeachment. That’s right. Judges can be impeached, just like Bill Clinton. And when impeached, they can be removed from office. Just like Bill…oh, wait. He finished out his term, with a budget surplus & no war. But I digress

On Monday, one of the commenters here at The Zoo wrote, “They also intended the jurisdiction of the Judicial branch of our government to be able to settle all disputes, not just the ones you feel comfortable letting them decide.” Actually, that’s not quite true.

Let’s look at the Constitution itself, Article III to be specific:

Section 1. The judicial power of the United States, shall be vested in one Supreme Court, and in such inferior courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The judges, both of the supreme and inferior courts, shall hold their offices during good behaviour, and shall, at stated times, receive for their services, a compensation, which shall not be diminished during their continuance in office.

First thing to notice is there is only one court authorized in the Constitution: the Supreme Court. Congress could, if it wanted to, abolish all federal courts. More about that later.

Next, ” The judges … shall hold their offices during good behaviour…” That means they can be removed for “bad behavior”. And what is “bad behavior”? That’s pretty much up to Congress to decide. So if my Republican colleagues really want to do something meaningful, they can impeach the five Justices that voted against their long-held ability to discriminate based on gender. Frankly, given their arguments, I cannot see how they can NOT impeach those Justices. Their ruling seems to epitomize ‘bad behavior’ from the evangelical christian point of view, which demonizes homosexuality as coming from Satan Himself.

Now, let’s turn to the jurisdiction issue. What is the jurisdiction of the Supreme Court? Here’s the clincher:

In all cases affecting ambassadors, other public ministers and consuls, and those in which a state shall be party, the Supreme Court shall have original jurisdiction. In all the other cases before mentioned, the Supreme Court shall have appellate jurisdiction, both as to law and fact, with such exceptions, and under such regulations as the Congress shall make. (Section 2)

What’s that mean? It means Congress gets to make exceptions as to the Supreme Court’s appellate jurisdiction. Now, back to Section 1. What if Congress eliminates all federal courts except the Supreme Court? The only federal cases the Supreme Court could hear would be “cases affecting ambassadors, other public ministers and consuls, and those in which a state shall be party.” In fact, those would be the only federal cases that could be heard, period.

Then, to cap it off, under Section 2, Congress could strip away the Supreme Court’s appellate jurisdiction to hear appeals from the various State Supreme Courts. And here, there’s an appealing “States’ Rights” argument: Why should States’ Supreme Courts be beholden to a Federal Supreme Court? Why should “justice” have to be meted out in Washington?

My conservative colleagues lack the intestinal fortitude and political will to reign in activist judges. When I become President, one of my first tasks will be to address the judiciary and return the courts to the founding father’s original intent: One Supreme Court, with Justices serving for life, so long as they exhibit “good behavior”.

So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!

[Briseadh na Faire – it’s hard to pronounce.]

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.

[BriseadhNaFaireforPresidentisnotaffiliatedwithanyPolitcalActionCommitteenorhas receivedtheendorcementofTPZoonoranyotherindividualbusinessnonprofitorganizationorgod.]


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Marriage, Biblical Style

In the beginning, there was but one man, and he was lonely. So God took a rib out of his side and made a woman. So the first woman was a clone of the first man, but with different pieces-parts.

Then the woman talked to a snake, ate an apple, and realized she wasn’t wearing any clothes. She talked the man into biting the apple so he would realize he wasn’t wearing any clothes either.

The Bible doesn’t say whether the first man and the first woman ever bothered to get married. But they must have, otherwise the entire human race was conceived out of wedlock. A short while later, they had a son, then another son. These sons later took themselves wives. That mean the first man and first woman had daughters.

So, the original Biblical marriage means marrying your sister.

Later on. men could take as many wives, and have as many mistresses he wanted. This, too, is Biblical marriage.

If Republicans are so supportive of Biblical marriage, they should repeal laws against incest and polygamy.

BREAKING GNUS: SUPREME COURT DOOMS U.S. TO THE WRATH OF GOD!!!!

In blatant disregard for the will of the Almighty, the Supreme Court today sanctioned same-sex marriages.

God, speaking through the voices of numerous pundits, will rain down His Righteous Wrath on the U.S. to punish the nation for allowing two people who love each other the right to get married irrespective of their genders.

From now until the end of time, every so-called natural disaster will, in truth, be God’s Punishment meted out against the United States for allowing Gay Marriage.

The Watering Hole. Wednesday. June. 24. 2015. Yes, I’m still Running For President. (Part IV)

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President. Here are a few of my positions on issues important to the American People today. Between now and November 2016, I will post additional policy and platform statements.

Today’s topic du jour: The Middle East, more specifically, Iraq.

Let’s face it, invading Iraq, again, is inevitable. Bush’s successful invasion was bungled, and bungled badly, by not following Biblical principles. The Middle East, and especially Iraq, is still living in Biblical times, and must be treated accordingly.

Now, in Biblical times, when a country was invaded, the soldiers were killed, and able-bodied women and children were taken into slavery. The conquers took control of the land and settled there. That’s what we need to do.

Not only do we invade Iraq, we execute as war criminals all able-bodied men, we enslave the women and children. You see, once they are convicted as unlawful enemy combatants, the 13th Amendment prohibition against slavery no longer applies.

Then we offer land to any American Family that wants to move there. A lot of land. And a percentage of the oil revenues. There will be only one condition: that they be fertile, and abstain from using any form of birth control, to follow the Biblical Commandment to go forth and multiply, and that they be card-carrying members of the NRA, with their own private arsenal.

This way, by the end of my first term as President, Iraq will become the 51st State in the Union. Of course, we’ll have to give it a new name. I’m open to suggestions.

So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!

[Briseadh na Faire – it’s pronounced Breesha na Fair-ah.]

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.

[BriseadhNaFaireforPresidentisnotaffiliatedwithanyPolitcalActionCommitteenorhas receivedtheendorcementofTPZoonoranyotherindividualbusinessnonprofitorganizationorgod.]

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The Watering Hole, Wednesday, June 17, 2015, I’m Running For President, Part 3

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President. Here are a few of my positions on issues important to the American People today. Between now and November 2016, I will post additional policy and platform statements.

Today’s topic du jour: Health Care.

Let’s face it. Health Care in the United States of America is a mess. ObamaCare isn’t all it was cracked up to be. Yeah, yeah, it was the first “successful” overhaul of the health care system since, well, ever. But will it survive a Supreme Court Challenge? Heck, already, if a corporation doesn’t want to provide women’s reproductive health care coverage, based on the corporation’s deeply held religious beliefs, it’s female employees are left to pay for such health care out of their minimum wage paychecks. But, hey, they chose to work there, so they really have no room to complain. But I digress.

So, the Democrats had an opportunity to fix the health care system and they blew it.

And the Republicans have yet to put up a plan of their own.

One of the biggest gripes is that under any government-run plan, the government is going to come between the patient and doctor.

Well, I have a plan, and it is breathtakingly simple. Whoever pays for the health care gets to make the health care decisions. If you pay your doctor out of your own pocket, you get to make the decisions. If your insurance company pays, your insurance company decides. And if the government pays, the government decides, based, of course, on whoever holds a majority in the House and Senate at the time.

It’s the best of both worlds – capitalism and democracy. The free market decides what health care is worth, and those who can pay the price get the health care they choose. And it’s also democratic: those who cannot participate in the free market can still vote, and their elected representatives will then choose whatever health care is best for their constituents.

Of course, this still has one little problem. Tax dollars being spent on anything except for law enforcement and national defense. But I propose that governmental health care be meted out in proportion to the taxes one pays for health care. So, essentially, whether you pay out of your own pocket, or pay premiums for health insurance, or rely on government-paid health care, my health care plan is a true “pay as you go” plan.

Now the other part of the healthcare problem is skyrocketing costs. So what? It’s a free market, and health care providers should be free to charge whatever the market will bear. Anything less is, frankly, Un-American. We can do a lot to curb skyrocketing costs at the emergency room door. If you can’t pay for it, you don’t get it, pure and simple. If we stop forcing hospitals to treat people who can’t, or won’t, pay, they won’t have to pass those costs on to the rest of us.

In fact, I just had another great idea! We’ll let Scientologists actively seek out new members in emergency rooms! Win-Win again!

So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!

[Briseadh na Faire – it’s hard to pronounce.]

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.

[BriseadhNaFaireforPresidentisnotaffiliatedwithanyPolitcalActionCommitteenorhas receivedtheendorcementofTPZoonoranyotherindividualbusinessnonprofitorganizationorgod.]

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