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In wake of new school massacre, NRA announces new initiative

In the wake of the latest school massacre, the NRA has announced a new initiative designed to reduce or eliminate school shootings.

In a press release issued in the pre-dawn hours following the Florida Valentines Day Massacre, the NRA announced it will spend over $20 million in an ad campaign to lobby Congress to close public schools. The promo trailer for the ad features video footage from school shooting from Columbine to Sandy Hook to Parkland, while a narrator speaks “The solution is simple. School shooting happen at schools. If there are no schools, there will be no more school shootings.”

Betsy DeVos, Trump’s Secretary of Education, has already endorsed the NRA’s message, introducing a new round of initiatives to support in-home conservative christian schooling, supported by tax deductible vouchers and in-kind credits.



This just in. Rep. Nunes (R Fresno) announced he will be releasing a 2nd Memo.

The memo is highly critical of a dossier produced by Remington Steele. Steele has been linked romantically with the daughter of Efrem Zimbalist Jr., a noted FBI agent. Memo says Steele is reputed to have investigated numerous business associates of President Trump, and his relationship with the daughter of an FBI agent casts all of his investigations in a suspect light, tainting them with the appearance of a liberal bias against the President.

Memo also said to contain irrefutable proof of allegations that Hillary Clinton personally orchestrated the attacks on Benghazi to boost her presidential aspirations.

Special Comment: A Nation at War

7/28/2017. The day 46 men and 3 women voted in the middle of the night to take health care away from 16 million United States Citizens.
If this were a foreign attack aimed at destroying the lives of 16 million citizens we would have declared it an act of war.
And, indeed, it was an act of war: class war. Those 49 people acted to advance the fortunes of the very few at the cost of the lives of the least fortunate among us.
This is the kind of war that is being waged by the wealthy against the poor. It is being waged in the middle of the night. It is being waged behind closed doors. Make no mistake about it, they will try again; try again to commit mass murder by depriving the least fortunate among us any access to medical treatment that would save their lives.
We are a nation at war.

Trumpcare Spurs Mass Exodus

In the wake of the House passage of Trumpcare, seniors by the thousands are packing up and leaving Florida, heading north to Canada. Beginning midday on Thursday, interstate highways 75 and 95 have seen a steady stream of Winnebagos, campers and pickups hauling 5th wheels heading north.

Low income seniors are fleeing to Canada en masse to avoid Trumpcare’s massive premium increases. For example, a low income senior making $27,000 per year could see her net premiums increase from $1,700 to $14,600 a year. And that’s just based on age. Since most senior citizens have one or more preexisting conditions, they will be forced into Trumpcare’s high-risk/high premium pools. Even moderate income seniors with preexisting conditions could see premiums exceeding their total income. For those with life-threatening conditions such as cancer, Trumpcare is seen as a death sentence.

Even though Trumpcare has yet to pass the Senate, a sampling of seniors at a rest stop along I-75 in Georgia indicates they are not willing to risk their lives on the Senate, especially since Trumpcare can get through the Senate with a bare majority. With 52 Republican Senators, and Vice President Pence’s tie-breaking vote, most seniors fear anything coming out of the Senate would be even more devastating than the House version.

Canada responded to the miles-long string of migrating seniors late Friday night by closing border crossings from the Great Lakes to the Atlantic Ocean. As a result, traffic has backed up, causing gridlock in the Tri-State area. Canadian Mounties accompanied by trained grizzly bears are patrolling the woods and forests along the border to prevent illegal crossings.

Meanwhile housing prices in Florida have seen the bottom fall out of the market, as seniors fleeing to Canada flood the market with houses for sale.  The Florida housing market has already taken a major hit as rising sea levels put mortgages under water, along with an estimated 1 house in 8 being literally under water.

Seniors on the West Coast are more laid-back, as Washington, Oregon and California State Legislatures continue to work on leaving the Union.


The Watering Hole, 4/19/17: Trump Creates New Cabinet Position

Trump signed a new executive order over the Easter weekend creating a new Cabinet-level position: Department of Linguistics.

The Department of Linguistics department will be tasked with removing foreign words from the English language. Over the past centuries too many foreign words have illegally immigrated into the English language, destroying its purity and greatness as the greatest of all languages. Removing these foreign words is a high priority for the Trump Administration as it continues its quest to Make America Great Again.

Insiders report Sarah Palin is highly favored to become the new Secretary of Linguistics.


Meanwhile, back at the ….

While the Republican plan to destroy healthcare for millions of Americans went down in flames, a little noticed resolution passed through Congress and is now awaiting signature on Trump’s desk.

The resolution simply rebrands ObamaCare as TrumpCare.

Polls show TrumpCare is favored over ObamaCare by a wide margin of people who voted for Trump in the last election.