About Briseadh na Faire

I am what I am.

The Watering Hole, 02/25/15: FIVE MINUTES AFTER TOMORROW

FIVE MINUTES AFTER TOMORROW

an opera in one act

© 2015 briseadh na Faire

SCENE 1

A war-torn cell. Poorly lit. A MAN enters dragging a WOMAN. Her hands are bound behind her back. He flings the woman onto a chair.

WOMAN:       If you brought me here to kill me, get it over
with.

MAN:             If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead already.

WOMAN:       Well, why not!
Go ahead, pull the trigger!
Go ahead, pull the trigger!
You’re nothing but a beast!

MAN:             A beast am I?

WOMAN:       No, lower than a beast.
A beast does not kill for the sheer pleasure.
A beast kills for a reason.

MAN:             And you think I have no reason to kill?
Even a beast kills for self-preservation.

*****
Read on, if you wish. otherwise OPEN THREAD Continue reading

The Watering Hole, Wednesday, February 18, 2015: Hump Day!

Someone said climate change deniers don’t know the difference between weather & climate. But if you ask them, they will tell you that they do know the difference: weather is if you’re going to have sex. Climate is what happens when you do. Abstinence Only sex education is prevalent amongst True Christians. So are an unprecedented number of immaculate conceptions. Sarah Palin was asked to host a return of that old game show, “What’s my Line?” She declined because she thought it was a trick question. Ted Cruz wants more border guards on the U.S. – Canadian border. He claims he’s proof positive there are crazy people in Canada wanting to come to the U.S. Last time around, Mitt Romney came in second in numerous Republican Primaries, to capture the nomination and come in second to Barak Obama. This time, Mitt is not running, with the hopes that he’ll come in first in 2016. Obama is set to approve the Keystone Pipeline, if Congress makes two minor modifications. Instead of running north-south and piping oil, he wants it to go east-west and pipe snow. Michelle Obama is hinting at running for president in 2016. It’s hard to tell if she’s serious, or just wants to see the talking heads at Fox explode on the air. Koch  Brothers say if they don’t get their Keystone Pipeline, they’ll buy France, just out of spite.

OPEN THREAD

Wednesday Watering The February Hole 2015 Eleven.

After Sarah Palin’s most recent speech, the makers of Scrabble have released a new game: Word Salad.

Instead of letters on the tiles, they contain words. The object of the game is to string together 7 words into a complete, but incomprehensible sentence, with bonus points if it actually matches a sentence spoken by the half-governor.

SO, THIS OPEN THREAD THINGIE, HOW’S THAT WERKIN’ OUT FER YER?

The WATERING hole: WEdNESDAY, FEBrUARY FOUR, TWO-THOUSAND FIFTEEN

 

House Passes Bill to Eliminate Silent Letters

In what started out as a measure to eliminate all foreign words from the English Language, the House today passed a bill that would eliminate all silent letters.

“If we don’t pronounce it, we shouldn’t have to write it.” one staffer explained. The advent of social media, especially forums like Twitter, has demonstrated that people can communicate effectively using fewer letters. Fewer letters saves time and money. Businesses can communicate more rapidly, thereby increasing profits.

The bill now goes to the Senate, where it is expected to receive some opposition from the few die-hard conservatives who know how to spell. Concerns have already been raised over the issue of school textbooks, and it’s likely the Senate will seek to amend the bill to allow its implementation to be phased in over the next few years, to allow textbook makers the time to revise their editions to comport with the new spelling mandate.

Should this bill pass the Senate and be signed into law, House Republicans intend to introduce a measure to eliminate synonyms.

OPEN THRED
UR TURN

Wednesday, January 21, 2015; ho-hum-hump-day

I heard Obama gave his State of the Union speech last night. ho-hum. More of the same, more of the same. What’s he gonna do? The Republican Majority in both houses of Congress won’t pass anything he proposes, so he is free to propose anything and everything.

The only way anything’s going to get done is if enough Democrats in Congress cross party lines to vote in favor of overriding a Presidential veto. Which, quite frankly, is likely.

So I’d like to offer my own “State of the Union” if you will, at least as far as certain policy proposals go:

First and foremost we must restore this great country to the greatness that we had before, and by before, I mean before things went to hell in a hand basket and we invaded not one, but two independent sovereign states in wars based on lies. And to do that, I’m ordering the immediate arrest of the prior administration, to be handed over to the International Criminal Court for to be tried for crimes against humanity and international war crimes.

Next, I am restoring tax rates to where they were before ‘trickle down economics’ destroyed our middle class and restore regulations to where they were before deregulating destroyed our economy.

Free trade agreements that benefited multi-national corporations at the expense of the American Worker will be replaced with Fair Trade agreements.

Guantanamo is history. I’m shutting it down. It’s a blight on our nation as a nation that respects and upholds the rule of law. I don’t care if Congress doesn’t appropriate funds to shut it down, I’m shutting it down. I’ll find the money somewhere. And if Congress doesn’t like it, they can impeach me. In fact, I dare them to.

You get my drift. Oh, and these are my policy proposals, and do not necessarily reflect on the policies and proposals of The Zoo.

OPEN THREAD

OK, YOU’VE HEARD PRESIDENT OBAMA
YOU’VE HEARD TEH REPUBLICAN OPPOSITION

WHAT’S YOUR POLICY PROPOSALS?

(or anything else you’d like to blog about, including, but not necessarily limited to: pictures of grumpy cat.)

The Watering Hole, Wednesday, 1/14/15

Think fast:

NAACP petitions to have African-Americans put on endangered species list, spokesman claims “we’re dropping like flies”.

Texas GoP, not to be outdone by Washington, lobbies to have Dallas Cowboys renamed to Dallas Wetbacks.

Florida GoP introduces ‘shoot first-ask questions later’ law.

The War on Christmas continues: Walmart announces first ever Good Black Friday Sale.

Koch Bros secretly buying all real estate in Virginia. Insiders say once they own the whole State they plan on seceding and forming their own country.

Last, but not least, what day is it?

 

OPEN THREAD