About Briseadh na Faire

I am what I am.

Marriage, Biblical Style

In the beginning, there was but one man, and he was lonely. So God took a rib out of his side and made a woman. So the first woman was a clone of the first man, but with different pieces-parts.

Then the woman talked to a snake, ate an apple, and realized she wasn’t wearing any clothes. She talked the man into biting the apple so he would realize he wasn’t wearing any clothes either.

The Bible doesn’t say whether the first man and the first woman ever bothered to get married. But they must have, otherwise the entire human race was conceived out of wedlock. A short while later, they had a son, then another son. These sons later took themselves wives. That mean the first man and first woman had daughters.

So, the original Biblical marriage means marrying your sister.

Later on. men could take as many wives, and have as many mistresses he wanted. This, too, is Biblical marriage.

If Republicans are so supportive of Biblical marriage, they should repeal laws against incest and polygamy.

BREAKING GNUS: SUPREME COURT DOOMS U.S. TO THE WRATH OF GOD!!!!

In blatant disregard for the will of the Almighty, the Supreme Court today sanctioned same-sex marriages.

God, speaking through the voices of numerous pundits, will rain down His Righteous Wrath on the U.S. to punish the nation for allowing two people who love each other the right to get married irrespective of their genders.

From now until the end of time, every so-called natural disaster will, in truth, be God’s Punishment meted out against the United States for allowing Gay Marriage.

The Watering Hole. Wednesday. June. 24. 2015. Yes, I’m still Running For President. (Part IV)

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President. Here are a few of my positions on issues important to the American People today. Between now and November 2016, I will post additional policy and platform statements.

Today’s topic du jour: The Middle East, more specifically, Iraq.

Let’s face it, invading Iraq, again, is inevitable. Bush’s successful invasion was bungled, and bungled badly, by not following Biblical principles. The Middle East, and especially Iraq, is still living in Biblical times, and must be treated accordingly.

Now, in Biblical times, when a country was invaded, the soldiers were killed, and able-bodied women and children were taken into slavery. The conquers took control of the land and settled there. That’s what we need to do.

Not only do we invade Iraq, we execute as war criminals all able-bodied men, we enslave the women and children. You see, once they are convicted as unlawful enemy combatants, the 13th Amendment prohibition against slavery no longer applies.

Then we offer land to any American Family that wants to move there. A lot of land. And a percentage of the oil revenues. There will be only one condition: that they be fertile, and abstain from using any form of birth control, to follow the Biblical Commandment to go forth and multiply, and that they be card-carrying members of the NRA, with their own private arsenal.

This way, by the end of my first term as President, Iraq will become the 51st State in the Union. Of course, we’ll have to give it a new name. I’m open to suggestions.

So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!

[Briseadh na Faire – it’s pronounced Breesha na Fair-ah.]

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.

[BriseadhNaFaireforPresidentisnotaffiliatedwithanyPolitcalActionCommitteenorhas receivedtheendorcementofTPZoonoranyotherindividualbusinessnonprofitorganizationorgod.]

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The Watering Hole, Wednesday, June 17, 2015, I’m Running For President, Part 3

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President. Here are a few of my positions on issues important to the American People today. Between now and November 2016, I will post additional policy and platform statements.

Today’s topic du jour: Health Care.

Let’s face it. Health Care in the United States of America is a mess. ObamaCare isn’t all it was cracked up to be. Yeah, yeah, it was the first “successful” overhaul of the health care system since, well, ever. But will it survive a Supreme Court Challenge? Heck, already, if a corporation doesn’t want to provide women’s reproductive health care coverage, based on the corporation’s deeply held religious beliefs, it’s female employees are left to pay for such health care out of their minimum wage paychecks. But, hey, they chose to work there, so they really have no room to complain. But I digress.

So, the Democrats had an opportunity to fix the health care system and they blew it.

And the Republicans have yet to put up a plan of their own.

One of the biggest gripes is that under any government-run plan, the government is going to come between the patient and doctor.

Well, I have a plan, and it is breathtakingly simple. Whoever pays for the health care gets to make the health care decisions. If you pay your doctor out of your own pocket, you get to make the decisions. If your insurance company pays, your insurance company decides. And if the government pays, the government decides, based, of course, on whoever holds a majority in the House and Senate at the time.

It’s the best of both worlds – capitalism and democracy. The free market decides what health care is worth, and those who can pay the price get the health care they choose. And it’s also democratic: those who cannot participate in the free market can still vote, and their elected representatives will then choose whatever health care is best for their constituents.

Of course, this still has one little problem. Tax dollars being spent on anything except for law enforcement and national defense. But I propose that governmental health care be meted out in proportion to the taxes one pays for health care. So, essentially, whether you pay out of your own pocket, or pay premiums for health insurance, or rely on government-paid health care, my health care plan is a true “pay as you go” plan.

Now the other part of the healthcare problem is skyrocketing costs. So what? It’s a free market, and health care providers should be free to charge whatever the market will bear. Anything less is, frankly, Un-American. We can do a lot to curb skyrocketing costs at the emergency room door. If you can’t pay for it, you don’t get it, pure and simple. If we stop forcing hospitals to treat people who can’t, or won’t, pay, they won’t have to pass those costs on to the rest of us.

In fact, I just had another great idea! We’ll let Scientologists actively seek out new members in emergency rooms! Win-Win again!

So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!

[Briseadh na Faire – it’s hard to pronounce.]

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.

[BriseadhNaFaireforPresidentisnotaffiliatedwithanyPolitcalActionCommitteenorhas receivedtheendorcementofTPZoonoranyotherindividualbusinessnonprofitorganizationorgod.]

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The Watering Hole, Wednesday, June 10, 2015, I’m Running For President, part 2.

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President. Here are a few of my positions on issues important to the American People today. Between now and November 2016, I will post additional policy and platform statements.

Today’s topic du jour: forgiveness.

There’s been a lot in the news lately about a guy who admitted to molesting his sisters years ago. And folks that call themselves True Christians, or part of God’s Chosen, if you will, are falling all over themselves to downplay what he did and to forgive him. Because, you see, he is one of their own, and that’s what they do. They forgive their own. No matter how horrible the act, if one of their own admits to what he has done, and asks their forgiveness, they forgive.

Of course, a lot of people are upset over the fact that they helped this guy out for years by not doing anything to protect their little girls, but that’s a topic for another day.

One of the most powerful powers a president has is the power to pardon. To forgive. And that’s just what I intend to do. In fact, I fully intend to forgive just as True Christians forgive, only more so.

For you see, True Christians are also hard on crime – when the crime is committed by the unchurched. But Constitutional Law scholar that I am, I know a president cannot base pardons on the criminal’s religion, or lack thereof. So, when I am President, I intend to pardon everyone, regardless of crime, and regardless of their religion, or lack of religion.

This is also fiscally responsible, as we will save BILLIONS in prison costs. And I intend to use this savings to broaden our horizons. To reach out to that final frontier – Space.

You see, I know there will be a huge outcry if we release thousands upon thousands of hardened criminals on our streets. I know that just because I forgive someone, others, especially their victims, might not be so magnanimous. And I know I just can’t ship them off to Australia. But we’ve been talking about manned missions to Mars for a long time now. So, why not?

It’s a win-win scenario. We solve our crime problem. We get to claim the only other inhabitable planet in the solar system for America. And we will demonstrate to the world that we are a Christian Nation, once and for all.

So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!

[Briseadh na Faire – it’s hard to pronounce.]

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.

[BriseadhNaFaireforPresidentisnotaffiliatedwithanyPolitcalActionCommitteenorhas receivedtheendorcementofTPZoonoranyotherindividualbusinessnonprofitorganizationorgod.]

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The Watering Hole, Wednesday, June 3, 2015: The GOP secret gay agenda.

We’ve seen time after time Republicans who speak the loudest against gays – it turns out – ARE gay. And it’s easy to connect the dots to see that, in spite of all their railing against gays, they’re really promoting a gay and lesbian lifestyle through simple economics.

First, they make it too expensive to get an abortion. They force girls to drive hundreds of miles to the only clinic in the State that provides abortions, and they make her make at least two trips to have this medical procedure, assuming that the State-mandated lies that a doctor has to tell her patient doesn’t dissuade the girl first.

And they’re doing everything they can to make sure abortions aren’t covered under ObamaCare or any other insurance program. Their goal: to prevent poor girls from having abortions. Their secret agenda: to prevent girls from having sex.

Next, they raise the cost of birth control. They want to take birth control off health care plans, where there is a zero co-pay, and sell it over the counter at a cost of $600 a year or more.

This is all part of a secret plan to push a gay and lesbian lifestyle on our children. By making it impossible to prevent pregnancies, kids will have to turn to the only kind of sex guaranteed to not result in pregnancy: gay and lesbian sex.

OPEN THREAD