In the wake of the House passage of Trumpcare, seniors by the thousands are packing up and leaving Florida, heading north to Canada. Beginning midday on Thursday, interstate highways 75 and 95 have seen a steady stream of Winnebagos, campers and pickups hauling 5th wheels heading north.
Low income seniors are fleeing to Canada en masse to avoid Trumpcare’s massive premium increases. For example, a low income senior making $27,000 per year could see her net premiums increase from $1,700 to $14,600 a year. And that’s just based on age. Since most senior citizens have one or more preexisting conditions, they will be forced into Trumpcare’s high-risk/high premium pools. Even moderate income seniors with preexisting conditions could see premiums exceeding their total income. For those with life-threatening conditions such as cancer, Trumpcare is seen as a death sentence.
Even though Trumpcare has yet to pass the Senate, a sampling of seniors at a rest stop along I-75 in Georgia indicates they are not willing to risk their lives on the Senate, especially since Trumpcare can get through the Senate with a bare majority. With 52 Republican Senators, and Vice President Pence’s tie-breaking vote, most seniors fear anything coming out of the Senate would be even more devastating than the House version.
Canada responded to the miles-long string of migrating seniors late Friday night by closing border crossings from the Great Lakes to the Atlantic Ocean. As a result, traffic has backed up, causing gridlock in the Tri-State area. Canadian Mounties accompanied by trained grizzly bears are patrolling the woods and forests along the border to prevent illegal crossings.
Meanwhile housing prices in Florida have seen the bottom fall out of the market, as seniors fleeing to Canada flood the market with houses for sale. The Florida housing market has already taken a major hit as rising sea levels put mortgages under water, along with an estimated 1 house in 8 being literally under water.
Trump signed a new executive order over the Easter weekend creating a new Cabinet-level position: Department of Linguistics.
The Department of Linguistics department will be tasked with removing foreign words from the English language. Over the past centuries too many foreign words have illegally immigrated into the English language, destroying its purity and greatness as the greatest of all languages. Removing these foreign words is a high priority for the Trump Administration as it continues its quest to Make America Great Again.
Insiders report Sarah Palin is highly favored to become the new Secretary of Linguistics.
While the Republican plan to destroy healthcare for millions of Americans went down in flames, a little noticed resolution passed through Congress and is now awaiting signature on Trump’s desk.
The resolution simply rebrands ObamaCare as TrumpCare.
Polls show TrumpCare is favored over ObamaCare by a wide margin of people who voted for Trump in the last election.
Wow. Hooda thunk… all those folks who came here in the bottom of slave ships were nothing but illegal immigrants looking for a better life for themselves and their children, grandchildren, great grandchildren or God knows who of their prodigy that would finally be free of their illegal immigrant status.
Bannon Trump is working on an executive order that declares all offspring of illegal immigrants to be illegal immigrants themselves. Preliminary drafts suggest Trump plans to get around the XIV Amendment by simply refusing to enforce any laws that grant such people citizenship status.
It is rumored that the executive order won’t be signed until after Trump hires 10,000 more ICE officers, as massive deportations will be pre-planned to coincide with the signing. Once the targeted individuals are out of the country, Trump plans on denying them reentry.
Unexpected opposition is expected to come from mob bosses, whose Mafioso roots trace back to Italians who immigrated “Without Papers“.
Trump’s tweet, now deleted:
Steven Hawkings [sic] helped Hillary Clinton create time warp to set up FAKE Russian meetings. Never happened! Pathetic!