About Briseadh na Faire

I am what I am.

The Watering Hole, Wednesday 5/27/15: Running for President

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I’m running for President. Here are a few of my positions on issues important to the American People today. Between now and November 2016, I will post additional policy and platform statements.

Taxes. The problem with trickle-down economics isn’t that it doesn’t work. It is that we have not fully implemented it. We’re still taxing the very rich. We have to change our tax laws so that all income over $1,000,000 a year is not taxed at all. That’s not just wages, but unearned income, too, like dividends and capital gains and interest and rental income, etc. And corporations shouldn’t be taxed at all. After all, taxes on corporations just punish corporations for making a profit. So we must stop discouraging corporations from making profits. That way, everyone wins.

Speaking of profits, there’s lots of ways we keep corporations from making profits and creating jobs. Take the minimum wage. Seriously. Take it, and don’t give it back. People should be paid what they’re worth, not what the government forces job creators to pay. Labor should compete on the open market. Everyone should be free to market their labor, to set their own price. And that includes kids, too. Why force them to go to school. Hell, studies show most of them aren’t learning anything any way. Kids should be free to go out and make money for themselves, if that’s what they want.

Of course, women, on the other hand, were created by God for one purpose: to bear children. Men weren’t. Women need to return to the role God planned for them from the beginning: to be man’s companion and to bear his children. Once we take women out of the workplace, it will free up millions of jobs. Now THAT’S a jobs program that benefits everyone! Unemployment will drop to zero virtually overnight.

The environment. Everyone wants to regulate the environment. But I’m here to tell you it can’t be done. God controls the environment and you cannot regulate God. We need to stop trying. We need to get rid of all those laws that try to regulate the environment because that’s an offense to God. I mean, NO WONDER we’re having all kinds of weird weather lately. By trying to regulate God, we’re incurring God’s just wrath!

God gave man, man, not woman, mind you…God gave MAN dominion over all the earth – to subdue the earth and use its resources for our gain. If we tie up vast amounts of resources in public lands, lands owned by the government, we’re not following God’s command. We must take those lands away from the government and put them to good use creating jobs, giving us energy independence, and creating wealth and security for everyone. This is just being good stewards of the earth that God gave us.

And speaking of God…yes…it is about time we accept the fact that we are a Christian Nation. Now I know all about the First Amendment…and I quote, Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, end quote. But we’ve got a long history of the President issuing executive orders. And, when I’m elected President, that’s just what I’ll do. I will issue an Executive Order establishing the One True Church as the official religion of the United States of America. I’ll keep the tax-exempt status for the One True Church. But all other churches will be shut down because they preach a false doctrine and that does nothing but incur God’s just wrath and punishment. And, frankly, I think the United States has been punished enough.

So, come 2016, vote Briseadh na Faire for President. I’m the only candidate for President who knows what’s best for America; the only candidate who acknowledges up front that I will break each and every one of my campaign promises, and, when I do, you won’t be disappointed!

[Briseadh na Faire – it’s hard to pronounce.]

I’m Briseadh na Faire, and I approve this message.




Why is it that the strongest part of a roll of toilet paper is always the perforations?

The Watering Hole; Wednesday, June 15, 2015. HUMP DAY!



10,000 B.C. – 2015 A.D.

Satire died last night in its sleep. Overworked to the point of exhaustion, Satire expired quietly in the night. A forensic autopsy indicated Satire was overcome by recent events, as Republican after Republican outdid each other – to the point where no longer could a satirical extreme be found. Pundits tried, to no avail. No one could out-extreme the extremists on the extreme fringe of what has now become the mainstream of Republican politics. Satire no longer had the advantage of being outrageous, yet somewhat believable, as more and more outrageous claims and positions were taken each day by candidates who took themselves seriously, even while the sane world looked on with incredulity.

Satire will be sorely missed. Satire is survived by its relatives: irony, puns and limericks.

Services will be held at 11 and Happy Hour.


The Watering Hole, Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Once immortal Gods
As silent sentinels stand;
Testaments to faith.

Blind eyes made of stone
Gazing into the future
From past hands hewn.

In faith they lived,
And when faith died,
They died.

Stone Gods, immortal,
Faced their own mortality,
In silent repose,
Staring into the future
With blind eyes.

What Gods man makes,
Man alone destroys.

The unalterable remains.

What of man,
Staring into the future
With blind eyes?


Open Thread

The Watering Hole, Wednesday, April 29, 2015: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of the Right to Discriminate

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

One of the above passages is from the Declaration of Independence, the other is from the Constitution. Unfortunately, some lawmakers don’t know the difference. The pursuit of Happiness, for some, is the pursuit of the right to discriminate based on their “deeply held religious beliefs”. Based on those beliefs they seek to deny women’s reproductive health care, intervene between a woman and her doctor, force gestation, then leave the woman and child without healthcare, food, clothing and shelter once the child is born. Based on “deeply held religious beliefs” some people, in the name of Christ, want to discriminate against people who love people of the same gender. Make no mistake about it, this is a violent sect of Christianity. Its followers kill doctors who perform legal abortions. Its followers kill gays in some rather horrific ways. Its followers turn to the courts and have obtained the blessing of the highest court in the land to deprive women of healthcare. And now, they turn to the courts to establish the right to discriminate, based on their “deeply held religious beliefs”. This is their Pursuit of Happiness: To turn this country into a “Christian” Nation, according to their view of an authoritarian Christ who rules by the sword and condemns all who do not worship Him. Although this sect (some say cult) is relatively small, they have a disproportionate voice in government. Why? because they vote. The vast majority of eligible voters don’t bother. But this majority is like a sleeping genie. Once awakened, it will be most difficult to put back into the bottle.


What’s your pursuit of happiness?

The Watering Hole, Wednesday, April 15, 2015: What Next?

Assume, for sake of argument, the ruling class, the super wealthy, get everything they want. And it’s a long list, and they’ve already accomplished some of these things:

The ability to pass down their wealth, tax free, in perpetuity;
A zero tax rate, with tax subsidies to their businesses;
No minimum wage;
No child labor laws;
No unions;
No workplace safety laws;
No environmental protections;
Privatize everything the government does;
Private ownership of all land;
No anti-trust laws – no regulations of any kind on businesses;
No ObamaCare, Welfare, Social Security, Unemployment Insurance or Disability Insurance; etc.

What would they want next?

Open Thread

The Dry Hole, Wednesday, April 8, 2015

California is on its way to become another dust bowl. Some estimates predict the State has one more year of water left.

One year. That’s counting the reservoirs and groundwater.

As a result, the State is enacting some pretty tight restrictions on water use, for human consumption. People, who use about 10% of the State’s annual consumption of water, will be asked to cut back on watering their yards to two days a week.

Agriculture, on the other hand, won’t face any restrictions. As a result, some farmers are continuing to plant new orchards.

Fracking will go on, as usual, consuming millions of gallons of potable water, and polluting countless millions of gallons more with toxic wastes filtering into the groundwater supply.

One central valley city has taken a unique approach to saving water. Fresno converted all of its firefighting equipment from pumping water to blasting dirt. The fire hoses now blast out a steady stream of dirt, much like a sandblaster, to put out flames.

The town set up a dredging operation in the Fresno riverbed, which has been dry for years. Sand and dirt is then loaded into dump trucks that follow the fire trucks to the scene of a fire. A typical residential fire can be extinguished with about a half a dump truck load. After the fire is put out, a clean-up crew sweeps up the dirt and sand, which is then strained to remove any coals, ash or other impurities and reloaded into the dump truck. The city estimates about 80% of the dirt and sand will be recovered in this manner.

While city officials are congratulating themselves at this innovative way to save water, residents are not so pleased. Every time there’s a fire, long lines form at the car washes, to wash the falling dust off all the cars that happened to be downwind of the blaze.

In other news, Rand Paul announced his candidacy for the President of the United States. His former High School immediately edited its online version of Rand’s Senior Yearbook, dubbing him “Least Likely to Succeed.”

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