Sunday Roast: Trump Trouble & Debate Live-Blogging

The truly funny part about this video is that it was posted in July.  Randy Rainbow just had a feeling, I guess…but I don’t need to know the details.

Soooo, in a continuation of the Great Emasculation, Hillary Clinton and Donald “Tic Tac” Trump will appear at a town hall style forum in St Louis, MO (6 pm, PT), wherein inexplicably undecided voters will ask questions of the candidates.

Hillary will attempt to behave in a statesman-like manner, while barely containing her giggles and snorts in regard to the state of her opponent’s campaign; and Donald will flop and flail around like a potty-mouthed steelhead landed next to the fish ladder — you almost made it, little guy! — and will probably say something that will cause me to choke on my popcorn within the first 15 minutes.

Join us, whether you’re just hanging out in the comments section, or doing hard-hitting live commentary on the 2016 presidential race (somebody should, I guess), or just pointing and laughing your ass off like the rest of us.

EDIT:  Here’s one of the places you can watch the aforementioned clusterfuck:

This is our daily open thread — Drinking game = Death

Sunday Roast: 9/11, Fifteen Years On

wtc-wreckage-exterior_shell_of_south_tower

It’s been fifteen years since that terrible day, September 11, 2001.  Almost 3000 people died, over 6000 people were injured, and untold trauma to millions of people worldwide, who were glued to their televisions, radios, computers — trying to comprehend what it was we were seeing and hearing.  Anyone over 20 years of age probably holds vivid memories of the heinous events of the day, what they were doing, and the feelings of shock, horror, grief, fear, anger…I know I do.

A chance for unity in this country — and possibly worldwide — was squandered by a President with an agenda of his own, resulting in the death and injury of hundreds of thousands of service members and innocent civilians in the countries he attacked in our name, and under false pretenses.  Lives that are being lost and ruined even today.

Could we ever have imagined on that horrendous day, fifteen years ago, that today, September 11, 2016, we would be enduring a hotly contested presidential election wherein the GOP nominee is a narcissistic, race baiting, hypocritical, misogynist, fear-mongering, Islam-hating, bigoted liar, with delusions of grandeur?  Who talks non-stop while saying precisely nothing, absolutely does not care about the damage he’s causing?  Personally, I am gobsmacked at the very thought.

If such a thing is possible, Osama bin Laden is smiling from his watery grave.

I’m sorry.

This is our daily open thread.

Sunday Leftovers: Mocking Trump

I found one of these videos posted in the Raw Story comments by “sam202.”  All the words are Trump’s own, but a genius named Peter Serafinowicz dubbed him to sound all catty and Liberace-like.

I think the dubbed voice is more appropriate for the gossipy content of Trump’s speeches anyway.

This is our totally late — so late we’re down to leftovers — open thread.

Sunday Roast: Stupid stuff that makes me giggle

There’s a site on the vast interwebs called “Sad and Useless, the most depressive humor site on the internet,” and it has a post where people on the internet rename animals — which totally makes sense, if you think about it.

We’ve already enjoyed the brilliantly renamed Stab Rabbit, so here are a few more:

OMG, it’s our Wayne!!  Everybody wave!  *waving*

I mean seriously, who would actually call this thing an ostrich?  Pure silliness!

Finally, my favorite…Run for your lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!

If you’d like to giggle up even more of a storm, go the site — they have more!!

This is our daily open thread — Make up names for your favorite animals!

Sunday Roast: What if animals were round?

I laughed myself stupid watching this on facebook, so I thought I would share the wealth, sotospeak.

With all the god-damned bullets and tRump shit flying around, I think bouncy round animals are just what the doctor ordered.

Just so you know, I was totally out of town on the day of the zebra shoot, but that could have been Jane falling out of the tree.  😉

Here’s a longer version…so very wrong.  😆

Happy Father’s Day, all you dads.  My dad would have LOVED the round animals.  🙂

This is our daily open thread — Please discuss this important issue.

Sunday Roast: Memorial Day

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

~Lt Col John McRae

This is our daily open thread — In Memoriam of those service members who died while serving their country.

Sunday Roast: Liberal Redneck

I saw a video by the Liberal Redneck on RawStory — which was HILARIOUS — so I clicked through to YouTube to see if he had any other videos.  He does!

Here’s the video that was on RS:

Have you ever noticed that people from the South speak way too fast or WAY too slow?  There’s no in-between!

Anyhoo, I’ll keep an eye out for the Liberal Redneck, because he’s really smart and does short videos that come to the point quickly and humorously.

This is our daily open thread — What tickles your fancy?

Sunday Roast: Let’s Go Crazy

The year 2016 has been pretty rough on the music world.  It’s too depressing to make a list of the amazing artists who’ve slipped the mortal coil…

Let’s Go Crazy is my favorite Prince song; it’s just SO perfectly Prince.  Purple Rain is the iconic Prince song, but Let’s Go Crazy — to me — is Prince & friends having a shitload of fun making great music.

Speaking of Purple Rain, Bruce Springsteen opened his most recent show with a tribute to Prince Rogers Nelson.

I truly hope that Prince made arrangements for his unreleased music to come out over the next few years.

This is our daily open thread — Post your fav Prince music, if you can find it!

Sunday Roast: Vivaldi Spring

Well, it’s acting like Spring more and more around here — gorgeous sunny days, rain, hail, overcast, wind, flowering trees, sneezing, more sun, more sneezing, etc — so I thought I’d post the definitive music of Vivaldi’s Spring.

Feel free to post your own Spring-ish music or photos in the comments section.

This is our daily open thread — What are you doing today?

Sunday Roast: 1968

In 1968, my family was living outside of the U.S., in a little place no one has heard of since, namely Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.  I was nine years old and only beginning to become aware of the world outside family, neighborhood, and school.

I was the kind of kid who was outside from morning ’til the street lights came on, so television — especially the news — was way down my list of interesting things to do.  Dad turned on the six o’clock news every night, and I began to realize that the world (the U.S., my world) was burning — literally.

By the time we left Gitmo, I was going on eleven years old, and I knew two things for sure:

  1.  War is bloody and horrible and fucked up, and we need to find a better way to deal with our disagreements.
  2.  People need to be able to stand up for themselves and their rights — civil or otherwise — and speak their minds, without being beaten, fire hosed, or killed.

I was a naive child who thought we’d have these things figured out by the time I had children.  Ha!  Said children are 28 and 33 years old, and just look at what we’ve done to this country…hell, the world.

I am ashamed.

This is our daily open thread.

 

 

Sunday Roast: Can’t stop watching…

 

I admit it:  I can’t get enough of Drumpf getting the shit startled out of him when a protester made it past the security gates (although not on stage).  I wish I were more of a computer geek, so I could make a loop of the initial panicked grabbing of the podium, through the “I just want to go home” look when the secret service guys let him go back to inciting the crowd.

Drumpf was probably hoping they’d just rush him back onto the Drumpf Aeroplane, so he could he could have a bit of a crying jag — and then have his manservant bring him fresh drawers.  He talks tough, but I think he actually pissed himself in Dayton, OH.

You reap what you sow, you bombastic blibbering baboon.

This is our daily open thread — Watch it again!

 

Sunday Roast: What the…what??

via RawStory

At a rally in Florida, the GOP front-runner, Donald “Drumpf” Trump, encouraged people to raise their right hands with a promise to  vote for him in the upcoming primary.  Yes, the photo above is real, and people didn’t have a problem, or didn’t understand the horrible historical significance, of a large crowd raising their hands in such a way.

Yeah, I know, Godwin’s Law and all that, but COME ON.  Doesn’t the photo of the Drumpf rally make you all squirmy inside — and not in a good way?

Is Drumpf just trolling these ignorant people, so he can have a laugh later on with the wife and kids?  Or is Drumpf actually that friggin’ stupid?  And do I really want to know either way…?

Here’s what Drumpf said, while wagging his stubby little finger, after he got all the rubes to do their clueless Nazi imitations:

“Don’t forget you all raised your hand,” Trump said at the conclusion of the pledge. “You swore. Bad things happen if you don’t live up to what you just did.”

He’s finished talking to people at a fourth grade level — now he’s down to speaking on a pre-school level — which seems appropriate since toddlers, much like Drumpf, tend to “say what they think,” too.

I weep for this country…

This is our daily open thread — Sorry, not sorry.

Sunday Roast: Antonin Scalia is no more*

Via RawStory (various headlines):

“On behalf of the court and retired justices, I am saddened to report that our colleague Justice Antonin Scalia has passed away,” Chief Justice John Roberts said in a statement on Saturday, calling Scalia, 79, an “extraordinary individual and jurist.”

My dear old Mom always said, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”  So here’s me sitting quietly…

Here’s how Antonin Scalia’s death changes the balance of the court and alters the 2016 presidential race.

Minutes after Scalia’s death right-wingers seek to block nominee Obama hasn’t even appointed yet.

Obama speaks about passing of Supreme Court Justice Scalia.  Our President is such a kind man…

Jon Stewart shreds Scalia’s marriage-equality dissent:  “He had no problem telling voters to ‘f*ck off’ in Citizens United.  Feel the Bern…

And finally, this apropo headline from The Onion:

Justice Scalia Dead Following 30-Year Battle With Social Progress

*HT to John Cleese in Monty Python’s “Dead Parrot” sketch for the headline of this post.

This is our daily open thread — Leave your thoughts in the comments section, while I sit here quietly.

Sunday Roast: Feel the SNL Bern

Bernie Sanders, one of the Democratic Presidential candidates for 2016, made his debut on Saturday Night Live last night.  He appeared in a Titanic skit with his twin separated at birth, Larry David.  Naturally, Bernie always gets his message across!

Sanders shouted, “I’m so upset with the one percent getting this preferential treatment,” before making a suggestion: “Enough is enough. We need to unite and work together if we’re going to get through this.”

“Sounds like Socialism to me,” David said, dismissing him.

“Democratic socialism!” Sanders countered.

“What’s the difference?” David asked.

Mimicking Donald Trump, Sanders replied, “Yuuuuge difference.”

Pretty damn good timing, Bernie!!

This is our daily open thread — What makes you laugh?

Sunday Roast: Rough start

Year 2016 — so far — has sucked BIG TIME.

With the passing of Alan Rickman, David Bowie, Glenn Frey, and especially our own EbbandFlow, I think we can agree that this year really can’t get any worse — and that is not me issuing the universe a friggin’ challenge.

Let’s take it easy on ourselves the rest of the year, eh?

This is our daily open thread — Yeesh…

Our Ebb flies to the next great adventure

peregrine_falcon_3

Sad news this morning:  Our own EbbandFlow, only a short time after being diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer, has passed on.

I think it’s safe to say that all of us here at TheZoo will miss her terribly.  She was always kind and loving, had a great love of family, music, animals — especially birds and her cat, Mel — and she remembered all the Zoosters’ birthdays.

The universe has lost a bright and beautiful light, and Ebb will live our hearts forever.

This is our daily open thread — Please post your favorite music or bird photo in remembrance of Ebb

Sunday Roast: Color

Jade 036

Jade 015

Photos by Zooey

Sometimes, the color of the ocean is unbelievable.  I was going through some old photos on my computer — these are from 2011 — and found these in a folder called “Jade.”

I’ve never seen the ocean look like this since then, and I feel lucky to have captured these photos that day.

This is our daily open thread — What’s your favorite color?  😉

Sunday Roast: Another year gone; what have we learned?

I know I’ve posted this video a few times over the years, in one form or another, but I’m posting it again.

Why?  That’s a good question.  I’m glad you asked.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m feeling especially pessimistic or cynical these days, but I’m thinking that we haven’t learned anything over the past year.  Maybe it’s just that the United States is absolutely fucking bonkers right now, and I’m having trouble seeing the good in the world; or maybe we’re at a critical turning point, and, much like correcting a naughty child, the behavior gets much worse before it starts getting better.

I hope it’s both, and I hope the “getting better” part starts happening soon.

This is the last Sunday Roast of the year — What do you think?

Sunday Roast: What’s After Dinner?

holiday-cookies

Mmmmmmmmmm, cookies!  Little single servings of sugary heaven.  🙂

Obviously, I didn’t make the cookies shown in the photo, because if I had, I would be forced to hurt whoever had the nerve to eat them.  That just doesn’t go over well with family and friends — so I’ve heard.

If I make cookies, they’re little blobs of dough that get dropped from a spoon, and then bake into gooey deliciousness.  No one is harmed by my ordinary blobby cookies, unless they mind putting on several pounds, or they are diabetic.  I was unkind to my (now former) brother-in-law, who, if he’s still alive, is a diabetic, when I came upon him stuffing cookies into his facial blackhole.  He thought I was joking — I wasn’t.

He deserved it!

Anyhoo, what’s your favorite holiday cookie?  Feel free to share your cookie-related holiday traditions, and how they came about.

This is our daily open thread — COOKIES!!!!!

Sunday Roast: What’s for Dinner?

Weirdly enough, it’s December AGAIN.  Where did this year go?

Anyhoo, this seems to be the time of year when people are interested in cooking a big holiday dinner for the family and friends.  Not me, of course, but some other people.  You know who you are.  🙂

So I thought to myself, “Self, why not do food posts for the month of December?”  And I replied, “Self, that seems like not all that much work…I mean, GREAT IDEA!!  People will love this!!”

Well, ’tis the season of giving, so I give you a lovely ham video.  Personally, I’m glad I’m not scrubbing that pan after dinner.  Yikes.

This is our daily open thread — Post your foodie favs here!

Sunday Roast: Adele…again

Yeah, I know!  I just did an Adele post a couple weeks ago!  But it’s different now, because her new album, 25, is out.  This means the whole world is a different place now, which calls for another Adele post.

Too over the top…?  Whatever, dude!  At least I didn’t pull a cringe-worthy Wasilla Grifter stunt.  Ugh.

This is our daily open thread — I missed music night, so post your tunes!