The Wizard of Flaws

the wizard of flaws

Available now through Amazon and Kindle

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1721004246/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1529009076&sr=1-1&keywords=the+wizard+of+flaws

The Wizard of Flaws is the best book ever. The best. Sharp wit. And I have a great part in it. The greatest. I am the most powerful Wizard there ever was. I loved it when flames came out of my nose! So powerful! I totally dominated the Wicked Witch of the West, not to mention Doorothee, the Straw Man, the Iron Lady and the Cowardly Lyin’! Looking forward to the sequel where I get to be even more powerful!
@theRealWizardofFlaws

I read this book. I like this book. But it has two problems that must be corrected. Number one: I don’t have hay fever. I’m made of straw, for crying out loud. Number two: Doorothee is a lot smarter and has a lot more gumption than how she is portrayed in this story. Other than that, it’s a great read. I laughed my head off. Literally.
@theRealStrawMan

If you like, please post reviews.

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The Most Punchable Faces of 2017…and probably 2018, too.

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I know, I know, I went for one of the easiest punchable faces with the middle Trump Weirdling — I want to punch him for his bizarrely patterned shirt and shiny textured tie, alone — but I thought we might need one of the more obviously punchable faces for starters.

So, while you’re thinking — seething, fuming, clenching your jaw and/or frothing at the mouth — about the most punchable faces of 2017, see if you can come up with one that’s not so obvious.  Someone who makes us think, “Yeah, that guy!!”  But feel free to post the obvious punchable faces too, because shits and giggles!

2016 — You were a crap year, and you know it.

2017 — You were truly fucked up, and we’re more disappointed/disgusted/discouraged than we thought we’d be right now.

2018 — Two things:  1) Please, I’m begging you, have mercy.  2) Do not take the phrase, “Can things get any worse?” as a fucking CHALLENGE!

Have fun all y’all, and have a safe and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

 

Daily Gnuz

Daily Gnuz for a Wednesday on October

Daily Gnuz for

Flake stuns with fiery exit
H/T The Hill
Sick of the BS that passes for politics, another R Senator declines to participate. Perhaps the Democrats can pick up a seat, if the state of Arizona doesn’t rig the election…

And

Service members see white nationalism as a bigger threat than conflicts in Iraq and Syria
H/T Raw Story
And this Vietnam veteran agrees with them.

Finally,

2-Party System? Americans Might Be Ready For 8
H/T NPR
I’m ready to throw both the bought and paid for political parties under a fleet of busses and go with a more parliamentary system that FORCES politicos to form coalitions and negotiate.

Open Thread, take it or leave it or do something gross with it.

RUCerious @ TPZoo

Daily Gnuz

Here’s a sampling of the fecal-storms that buffet us today:

It’s 6 months into Trump’s presidency. He’s already asking about pardons for his aides. …And his family members and … himself, according to a new report.
h/t Vox
Circling the wagons, …and the drain.

And

Protecting our children from climate change might take more than just cutting emissions
h/t Raw Story
The longer we wait, the bigger the bullet we must bite in the quest to bequeath a livable planet to our progeny.

Finally, this just about sums up the last six effing months of stupidity and cowardliness

Donald Trump’s six-month report card: A paralyzed, scandal-plagued presidency — and it could get worse
h/t Salon
Worse doesn’t begin to describe the plunge we are about to take. Into the shit canister we go.

Open Thread, enjoy one byte at a thyme
RUCerious @ TPZo

Saturday Zoology and Gnuz

Here’s some tidbits from the Gnuz-Cycle this weekend morn.

The Much-Hyped First Trump-Putin Meeting Was a Farce and the corollary story we knew was coming Putin Holds Presser, Says Trump Believes His Denial Of Election Hack
h/t The Nation
Picture seems to indicate Trump wants Putin to put his Johnson in Trump’s hand for a monkey spanking episode…Putin’s expression seems to express extreme yuck.

And

Election experts see flaws in Trump voter commission’s plan to smoke out fraud
h/t Salon
Fraudulent commission producing 200 false positives for every actual double registration…Fake Commission.

Finally
Why Is Princess Ivanka Filling In For Trump At G20 Meetings?
h/t C & L
Possible Answers:
a. He’s drunk
b. He’s servicing Putin
c. She asked him with a pretty please
d. All of the above.

Open Thread for the weekend. Have Fun,, and be safe out there.

RUCerious @ TPZoo

The Weekend Watering Hole: Friday, March 24th, 2017: FAUX Pas

On Wednesday, March 22nd, TIME Magazine’s Washington Bureau Chief, Michael Shelton, interviewed FAUX president Donald trump. I give Shelton credit, he apparently did not laugh in the FAUX president’s face (which is the least I’d like to do to trump’s face on any given day at any given minute. But I digress.)  I have to feel sorry for poor Mr. Shelton, as there was no way that any human could possibly keep up with the gibberish uttered by the “Most Embarrassing Man In The World”(TM). ‘Sad.’

The following is an except from ‘President trump’s Interview With TIME on Truth and Falsehoods.’ If you’re not dizzy by the time you’ve finished reading it, you will be if you read the entire interview. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

FAUX POTUS: “Yeah well if you’d look at, in fact I’ll give you the front page story, and just today I heard, just a little while ago, that Devin Nunes had a news conference, did you hear about this, where they have a lot of information on tapping. Did you hear about that?”

SHELTON: “I have not, no.”

FAUX POTUS: “Now remember this. When I said wiretapping, it was in quotes. Because a wiretapping is, you know today it is different than wire tapping. It is just a good description. But wiretapping was in quotes. What I’m talking about is surveillance. And today, [House Intelligence Committee Chairman] Devin Nunes just had a news conference. Now probably got obliterated by what’s happened in London. But just had a news conference, and here it is one of those things. The other one, election, I said we are going to win, we won. And many other things. And I think this is going to be very interesting.”

SHELTON: “So you don’t feel like Comey’s testimony in any way takes away from the credibility of the tweets you put out, even with the quotes?”

FAUX POTUS: “No, I have, look. I have articles saying it happened. But you have to take a look at what they, they just went out at a news conference. Devin Nunes had a news conference. I mean I don’t know, I was unable to see it, because I am at meetings, but they just had a news conference talking about surveillance. Now again, it is in quotes. That means surveillance and various other things. And the New York Times had a front-page story, which they actually reduced, they took it, they took it the word wiretapping out of the title, but its first story in the front page of the paper was wiretapping. And a lot of information has just been learned, and a lot of information may be learned over the next coming period of time. We will see what happens. Look. I predicted a lot of things that took a little of bit of time. Here, headline, for the front page of the New York Times, “Wiretapped data used in inquiry of Trump aides.” That’s a headline. Now they then dropped that headline, I never saw this until this morning. They then dropped that headline, and they used another headline without the word wiretap, but they did mean wiretap. Wiretapped data used in inquiry. Then changed after that, they probably didn’t like it. And they changed the title. They took the wiretap word out.”

Almost the last thing the FAUX president said in the interview was this:

“Hey look, in the mean time, I guess, I can’t be doing so badly, because I’m president, and you’re not.”

So…I gather from all that Nunes held a news conference, and the NY Times took out “the wiretap word”, and voila! he’s magically vindicated. Oh, and also, too, he’s the president.  Badly.  So there!

Words fail me.

This is an early edition of the Weekend Watering Hole. Have at it.

A Nutty Day (A Song Parody)

I love Sir Paul McCartney, and I have nothing but the deepest admiration, awe, and respect for his musical genius and creativity, and I would never dare make a claim that I could do anything better than he when it came to music. But there is one rather small, almost insignificant complaint I have (other than the official lyrics of “Live and Let Die” where he sings “And if this ever-changing world in which we live in [sic],” which can easily be corrected by changing them to “And if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’,” and nobody would know the difference), and it’s that some of his most beautiful melodies are also his most saddest songs. Take “She’s Leaving Home.” Such a beautiful tune, and yet such a sad, sad song. “Cried For No One,” is another one. I love that tune and yet it’s hard to feel happy when singing it. And the third one, the one below, “Another Day,” is another great tune with such a sad story. One of my personal goals in all these years of writing song parodies was to take one of those sad Paul McCartney songs and turn it into a happy melody we could have fun singing. I hope I succeeded. And I hope I don’t offend my musical idol, Sir Paul McCartney, without whom a great many bass players would not know how to play, and I wouldn’t have been able to write parodies of “Lady Madonna,” “I’ve Just Seen A Face,” “Revolution,” (I’m sure he helped John out here and there) “Too Many People,” “Eleanor Rigby,” “Here, There, and Everywhere,” “The Night Before,” “Another Girl,” and the entire “Let It Be” album. Thank you, Sir Paul, and I hope you enjoy this one. Maybe you could sing it for us and give us an even happier tune to enjoy even more, even if it is true. 🙂

This is a typical day in the life of Donald J. Trump, so-called President Of The United States. Or as the acronym that’s most often used on the internet goes, Continue reading