Tweeter took time off from following Invisible Obama to sit down with Invisible Mitt for a candid, bird on Etch-a-Sketch interview.
T: I understand you’re rebooting your campaign.
IM: Yes. It’s what I do best.
T: A month ago, going into the Republican Convention, you were looking to reboot your campaign then, too, weren’t you?
IM: Well, as a matter of fact, I was. You see, at that point in time I had come in second to so many of my worthy opponents that I had to reinvent myself as the front runner.
T: To capture the ‘anybody but Romney’ vote?
IM: Right. You see, I thought that by taking every position on every issue, everyone would like me. Now, I wouldn’t say I was wrong, but the voters kept voting for everyone but me. I was kind of like that old Avis Rent-a-car commercial — I’m number two, but I try harder. Well, I don’t exactly try harder, but I do have more money, so when my opponents would ride the wave and get knocked off, I was still there, waiting for the tide to turn in my favor.
T: And when it did, you became Mr. Etch-a-Sketch?
IM: Right. What better way to illustrate to my base than use a simple child’s toy to show folks how easy it is to start with a clean slate, to erase everything I said going into the convention and start over.
T: But you didn’t get the bounce you expected out of your convention.
IM: No. But I don’t fault Invisible Dirty Harry for that. I blame the liberal media for focusing more on Invisible Obama than on me.
T: Well, you have to admit, bringing Invisible Obama on the stage at the Republican Convention did give him quite a boost in the polls.
IM: I don’t have to admit anything. And just because my tax forms state the United States is a foreign country, it doesn’t mean I’m from the planet Kolob.
T: O…kay… So, after the convention you re-booted your campaign, again. How did that go?
IM: Forty-seven percent of the people didn’t like it. So I’m re-booting again.
IM: Sure! Why not? If at first you don’t succeed, just shake the Etch-a-Sketch and start all over. I’m sure that sooner or later, I’ll find a message that resonates with the voters.
Walker, The Zoo’s underground reporter
“Walker here,” the Mole interrupted, “I just got back from my latest assignment, to find the dirt on Romney’s latest re-boot. My sources tell me he’s going to put a lot of boots on the ground. There’s a huge voter supression effort going on across the country. I managed to get this photo of one of their election-day training camps, at great peril to myself, I might add:
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