Will & Kate plus 8 Million Hours of Interminable Swooning over the British Monarchy

Our bloggy friend, 5thState, presents his take on the recent media madness in the U.S. over some wedding in England…

This week the American corporate mass media has shifted into ‘over-bonkers-drive’ coverage of everything to do with Friday’s matrimonial shindig in London, England-shire, of Prince William Windsor (of the Windsor Windsors) and Catherine Middleton; a bit of middle-class crumpet from Buckleberry (best known for its hobbit-friendly, Nazgul thwarting ferry).

Such gushing attention might appear extremely odd given America’s anti-monarchical foundations, until one considers a few facts and features of the WASPy American psyche that has been molded from the nation’s vague subconscious memory of its birth, its awkward pubescent years in search of a moral compass, its first experiences with the sexiness of war (and subsequent depression over war-erectile dysfunction), its personal battle against oil addiction punctuated by episodes of political paranoia to form its contemporary state of ADD, Alzheimer’s and dependence on pseudo-scientific remedies, blockbuster-movie sponsored food-type “Happy-Meals” with the extra spiritual nutrition of toxic choking-hazard toys, and FDA approved pharmaceutical solutions to problems that most Americans probably wouldn’t ‘have’ if drug-company psy-ops departments weren’t such a great source of the advertising dollars and campaign contributions that allow the mental midgets of the media and politics to enjoy the privileged lifestyle of the fabled American Dream of owning time-saving appliances and hanging with the celebrities of human endeavor who usually actually have worked-hard for their life-rewards.

Note: If you struggled with the above run-on paragraph or in fact totally comprehended-it, just getting through it means that you are a contemporary and real American! Continue reading

Sarah Palin speaks in Hong Kong – Here’s the transcript, wink, wink..

This is far too precious to hide away in a comment on an open thread.

In her first trip to the region, the former Alaska governor, Sarah Palin addressed an annual conference of investors in Hong Kong in what was billed as a wide-ranging talk about governance, economics and U.S. and Asian affairs.

The Zoo’s regular contributor and guest-blogger 5thstate has issued a transcript of the speech as it could have been. As no journalists were allowed in at that event, we will have to take 5thstate at his word, you betcha!

Hi-ya (wink).

It’s really great to be here in this great nation of Hong Kong with all you patriotic Kongans to tell ya about governance, economics and U.S. and the Asian affairs also.
Ya kno Todd is part Eskimo so he’s just like ya, except he’s a much better driver.

I’m going to call it like I see it and I will share with you candidly a view right from Main Street, Main Street U.S.A., from where you can see those pesky Russians from and how perhaps my view of Main Street , how that affects you and your business, because as Governor of Alaska government interference got us into this mess in the first place in the respect that proud Alaskans like me aren’t interested in government fixes, we’re interested in freedom and the Reaganomics also and those things that Margaret Thatcher did in the Kingdom of Britain as well so now 10 months later, though, a lot of Americans are asking: more government? Is that the change we want?

Because that fella said some nebulous utopian sounding things with his health care reforms and death panels that infringe on private enterprise that real Americans aren’t comfortable with and it’s also like the Uighurs and the Han goin’ at-it but ya know ya just don’t seem to have any mechanisms to deal with regional ethnic issues and maybe you should get some of those ethnic mechanics also, too, don’tcha think? So that’s a business opportunity that can affect you in this great state of Asia without government interference interfering with your governance and freedom like I’ve been fighting for in the great state of Alaska also in that respect because it is in the interest of our safety for China to work out its contradictions and ya know we hope for china to rise responsibly because that fella in the White House over there is cutting the defense budget whilst I’ve seen Russia beef up when I go jogging and I bet you’ve seen China doing the same thing because its got to be about jobs also and if it weren’t for America’s commitment to security in this region your economic prosperity wouldn’t be on account of those missiles pointed at Taiwan and we don’t want a one-nation Asia do we?

But I’m glad the press isn’t here makin’ things-up, like I’m trying to burnish my foreign policy credentials, because I’m just here to benefit my knowledge base and defray some legal bills, you betcha.

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TeaBagging: The Arch-Capitalists’ Pseudo-Popular, Pseudo-Democratic, Pseudo-Patriotic Assault On Real Democracy

The following is by Guest Blogger, 5thstate.  Enjoy!

Modern Times Teabaggers

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The Adventure Begins: From to Tea to Teabags.

Supposedly, from a single “Howard Beal”-like rant on February 19, 2009, from trader, turned CNBC “on-air editor,” Rick Santelli about how the Homeowner’s Affordability and Stability Plan promoted the “bad behavior” of foreclosed homeowners, a “grassroots” nationwide anti-tax “Tea Party” movement was born.

Well, not quite.

It was the ardent Libertarian supporters of Republican presidential hopeful Ron Paul who revived the “Tea Party” banner (under which to protest government fiscal policy) that was first applied by proto-revolutionary American colonials in 1773.

The spirit and efficacy of the “Tea Party” slogan was however severely diminished when the genuinely grassroots “Paultards” publicity scheme to dump tea into Boston harbor from a Ron Paul-emblazoned blimp literally never got off the ground.

The cost of the blimp hire was $100,000.  Strangely not even 10,000 supposedly fiscally responsible Libertarians could pony up the ten dollars-each needed to change American political history forever!

So the “Tea Party” as the Libertarians had envisaged it retired, deflated, to a rusty shed at the edge of the political scene — much like Ron Paul himself, actually.

The Gathering Storm in a Teacup.

But as the summer of 2008 entered its last months, the political winds changed dramatically:  unregulated free-market teacups began rattling as the cucumber canapés of finance suddenly went limp and soggy.

Dark clouds burst over the laissez-faire Republican picnic whilst ants of despair invaded the egg-and-watercress sandwiches of certitude!  The stock market headed for the basement like a half-dressed slasher movie teenager, and the housing market collapsed like an outsourced KBR deck-chair.

As the Republicans demanded that the band play louder to drown out the noise of breaking capitalist crockery and tried to calm the panicking masses by pointing out that the picnic hadn’t been attacked by swarms of killer bees lately, a dark-skinned community organizer (who the Grand Old Party-ers had assumed was there to serve sandwiches) stepped forward with ideas on how to clean up the mess and get the party swinging again—and to the Republicans’ dismay the people listened.

Desperate to distract the crowd from the smooth-tongued party-crasher, the Republicans tried throwing cream cakes and cocktail sausages at him, but none of them stuck.

Then they shoved an Alaskan Hoochie-Coochie dancer onto the stage but, whilst easy on the eyes, she couldn’t sing or dance and she was obviously just a prick-tease — for all her winking and sassiness she wasn’t going to put out for anything less than designer clothes, a swank apartment, an armored limo, and a private jet.

For the frat-house Republicans, the party was over.

Their atomic-wedgie antics and beer-binging on the family credit card had run their natural course.

Dad’s classic Ferrari was backwards in a ditch; Mom’s lingerie was scattered around the garden; half a dozen girls were knocked-out on ‘rufies’ and knocked-up; someone had puked on the dog; the record player was skipping on “Where Eagles Soar”; and the Skull & Bones had run out of freshman “pledges” they usually could force make the place look respectable again.

Meanwhile everyone else had gone next door with the cool black kid and partied with the wonks, the mathletes, the A/V club with their cool viral videos, and their rockstar/Hollywood friends — and had the best party ever!

Then the cool black kid was voted Prom King, and the wonky chick the Jocks had been calling a bitch and a lesbian since her freshman year became President of the Student Council, and everyone clapped and cheered — except the Jocks and their blond-haired pep squad who began slapping each other in an epic blame snit.

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US Media Ignores Vindication of Progressive Blogs’ Charge of White Phosphorus War Crimes By US-Ally Israel.

A guest-post by TheZoo commenter 5thstate

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White Phosphorous in Gaza.

About four and a half years ago the US military was battering the insurgent stronghold of Fallujah, Iraq, into submission.  Even as the battle was being fought reports began to surface that White Phosphorous shells were being used, injuring (and/or killing) civilians who had been unwilling or unable to abandon the town despite the inevitability of attack, and despite international agreements that WP-use be significantly constrained if civilians might be hurt.

In the aftermath Italian public television aired a half–hour film purporting to show evidence of the use of “Willie Pete” against the town and its civilians. The blogosphere picked up on the story and buzzed with commentary and accusations—no prizes for guessing which side of the issue left-wing and right-wing blogs fell.

The NY Times reported on the controversy in its International section with an article titled: “US Is Slow to Respond to Phosphorus Charges“, dated November 21, 2005. Of its approximately 24 paragraphs the most lines are given to the US military’s criticism of the Italian documentary and in descriptions of their confusing PR efforts to counter the charges. Nowhere does the NYT article state that the use of “Willie Pete” against civilians is a war crime under international law to which the US is a signatory.

The article concludes:

At home, on the public radio program Democracy Now!, Lt. Col. Steve Boylan, an American military spokesman, said, “I know of no cases where people were deliberately targeted by the use of white phosphorus.”

But those statements were incorrect. Firsthand accounts by American officers in two military journals note that white phosphorus munitions had been aimed directly at insurgents in Falluja to flush them out. War critics and journalists soon discovered those articles.

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Storm in a Teacup

A guest-post by commenter to TheZoo ~ 5thstate!

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.

The revolutionary slogan of “No Taxation without Representation” used by participants of the Boston Tea Party was not an honest summation of widespread popular complaint against widespread and genuine oppression but in fact a political theory of interest to the ambitions and economic interests of the privileged colonial class.

The rebellion then became revolution not through spontaneous popular uprising but through collective rational argument against the response to the rebellion, that redefined the nature of government and citizenship, producing after lengthy deliberation quite absent of riot, the Declaration of Independence. (After which of course, the Revolution was on).

The symbolic resurgence in 2009 of “The Tea Party” resembles the original in as much as it too is a scheme developed by a privileged class that is exploiting popular ignorance with emotional hyperbole and the much the same kind of simplistic misrepresentation of reality now, as was the case in 1773.

Now, if the modern day “Tea-Party” were to evolve into a new and more perfect expression of democratic, egalitarian government as did its predecessor, then there would be much to be genuinely excited about—modern US government has strayed far from its founding ideals and could use a major overhaul to better serve the people that empower it, by which it is itself empowered.

But this 21st- Century “Tea Party” surely holds no-such promise and to understand why, it would be useful to first revisit the actual (rather than the imagined) history of the “No Taxation without Representation”-movement that sparked the American Revolution and the founding of the United States.

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