It should come as no surprise that the single most recognizable feature of Weiner’s campaign for Mayor of New York is, well, his weiner.
But with a rollover in his campaign staff, fresh ideas are coming in to revitalize his campaign and capitalize on his most recognizable asset. For the duration of the campaign, Weiner will be driving about New York City in a newly-purchased 1950’s Oscar Meyer Weinermobile. A campaign insider also revealed the candidate will be handing out weinerwhistles at all upcoming campaign events.
“The country’s already elected a couple of Dicks” the annonymous staffer said, “Dick Nixon, Dick Cheney….I think we’re ready to elect a true Weiner.”
For its part, a spokeswoman for Oscar Meyer said “While we’re grateful for the free publicity, we don’t want our name, and our signature Weinermobile and Wiener whistle, to become forever connected in anyway to Wiener’s weiner.” The company plans to file an injunction against the Weiner campaign to prevent it from using the Weinermobile and Weiner whistles.
“The media says, ‘Breitbart lies, Breitbart lies.’ Give me one example of a provable lie,” Breitbart said on stage at the Weiner presser. “One, journalist, one, put your reputation on the line here, one provable lie.”
How about a whole list of provable lies, you scum?
BIG FAT LIE:
Breitbart coordinated release of conservative activists’ undercover ACORN videos. On September 10, 2009, conservative activist and videographer James O’Keefe posted an entry to BigGovernment.com in which he revealed that he and fellow activist Hannah Giles had posed as a pimp and prostitute at a Baltimore ACORN Housing office and secretly filmed their meetings with ACORN staffers. As O’Keefe wrote, their intention was to take “advantage of ACORN’s regard for thug criminality by posing the most ridiculous criminal scenario we could think of and seeing if they would comply — which they did without hesitation,” the “scenario” being the “trafficking of young helpless girls and tax evasion.”
Except they didn’t. Upon viewing the un-edited videos, it was revealed that the ACORN workers did nothing wrong or illegal. As it turns out, O’Keefe, Giles, and Breitbart are the liars in the ACORN case.
BIG FAT LIE:
Breitbart eagerly embraced and promoted [Jim] Hoft’s false attacks on [Kevin] Jennings. Writing for the website Gateway Pundit, Jim Hoft has authored a series of factually dubious attacks on Department of Education staffer Kevin Jennings and the organization Jennings founded and previously led, the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN). Hoft’s Jennings posts — which he has labeled “Fistgate,” even though many of those allegations have little or nothing to do with the sexual practice of fisting — often draw upon the work of MassResistance, a Massachusetts based anti-gay organization that has been labeled a “hate group” by the Southern Poverty Law Center.
When you lie down with dogs…expect to get up with provable lies.
Over at ThinkProgress, in a message for Rep. Anthony Weiner Matt Yglesias described the twitter photo controversy as a “sex scandal.” I say it is no such thing.
If you look at the picture, you can see no genitalia of any kind. What you can see is what appears to be a pair of men’s briefs with some kind of bulge in them. But you cannot see what is causing the bulge which, for all you know, may just be a banana strategically placed there. In fact, it is unclear if it is even a pair of briefs on a human as opposed to on a mannequin. (If you want to take another look, you can see it here) The fact of the matter is that there is no penis in that picture, erect or otherwise.
Anyone who thinks they are looking at a penis is only imagining that they are seeing a penis. They are seeing no such thing. So for them to think that it is a “lewd” photo is just describing something in their own imaginations. And I don’t feel it is right that Rep. Weiner must defend himself against what people are imagining they are seeing. Yes, he didn’t do himself any favors by casting doubt over whether or not it is a picture of himself, but that still doesn’t negate the fact that there is nothing lewd in that picture at all. The only lewdness is in people’s imaginations.
A few years ago my late mother-in-law once looked at my size 13 shoes and said, “My, what big feet you have.” And I, being the playful type, said, “Yeah, but that’s just a myth.” To which she replied, “Oh, don’t be so fresh.” I had to tell her, “I didn’t say anything, you imagined that!” And that is exactly what’s going on here. Anybody who thinks that was a lewd photo are denouncing what they imagine they are seeing. It is not a sex scandal when there is no sex involved and people are upset over what they imagine they are seeing.