The Watering Hole, Wednesday, December 24, 2014: Obama Delays Christmas

Santa Camel

Faux Gnus has found a new way to attack President Obama, this time blaming him for delaying Christmas. According to Faux, lifting the embargo on Cuba will delay Christmas by several days this year.

Bill O’Lielee, of the O’Lielee Factor, picked up the banner. “By lifting the embargo on Cuba, well, Santa, you know, Santa stuck by the embargo these 50 years. So now the big guy has 50 years’ worth of Christmas presents to deliver.” Bill-O remarked. “Now, mind you, that just because they’re Communist, that doesn’t mean the little boys and girls of Cuba didn’t deserve Christmas presents from Santa all these years. But he couldn’t deliver them, because, you know, Santa is one guy who follows the rules, unlike President Obama.”

“Then, too,” O’Lielee continued, “he’s got a lot of coal to deliver down there. I mean, 50 years’ worth of coal for one of the naughtiest regimes on the planet. In fact, I believe Cuba is going to get so much coal from the North Pole, that if there is anything to this global warming, and personally I believe it is nothing but a big hoax perpetrated by a bunch of tree huggers, but if there is anything to it, Cuba may be responsible for cooking the planet up a few degrees with all the carbon they’ll have to burn.”

“Getting back to my main point, Obama’s ill-thought out plan to lift the embargo right before Christmas is going to delay this national holiday by at least a week, ’cause it’s going to take Santa that long to deliver his 50 year backlog of toys and coal to all those Cubans down there, the nice ones, and the naughty ones.

“So, boys and girls, when you wake up Christmas Morning and there’s nothing under the tree from Santa Claus this year, blame Obama. I know I will.

“This is Bill O’Lielee, for the O’Lielee Factor. Next up, Sarah Palin says she can see the North Pole from her house.”

O OPEN THREAD
THE STARS ARE BRIGHTLY SHINING
THIS IS THE THREAD OF OUR DEAR SATIRE’S MIRTH

The Watering Hole, Monday, December 23rd, 2013: Less Than 48 Hours ’til Christmas…

At this point before Christmas during most years, I’ve got everything done with just a few exceptions. This year, however, I still haven’t done any of this:
christmas-ornament-01
~ or this ~
christmas-wrapping-paper-1024x919
~ or this ~

Wrapped Presents

Wrapped Presents


~ or this ~
Baked Cookies

Baked Cookies

Good thing I don’t have to cook Christmas dinner!

This is our daily open thread–how are your Christmas preparations going?

The Watering Hole, Thursday, December 20th, 2012: The PediFix Tree

The PediFix Christmas Tree

The PediFix Christmas Tree

Yes, that IS a plastic lawn flamingo wearing a cardboard bow-tie...

Yes, that IS a plastic lawn flamingo wearing a cardboard bow-tie…

Yesterday afternoon, everyone at our company gathered ’round our traditionally-decorated Christmas tree to hear Jon, one of our bosses, give his Christmas speech, and to receive our Secret Santa gifts. Jon usually appoints one or two of the newest employees to play ‘Santa’ and hand out the gifts.

“Traditionally-decorated”, at our company (PediFix, Inc., a footcare products manufacturer), “…does not mean what you think it means…” In our case, it means an evolving and unique mix: classic glass and sparkle-encrusted ornaments compete for attention – and room – with decorations made of footcare products (a bunion guard with two ‘toe combs’ makes a great reindeer/moose!); a wide variety of trade show giveaways (lots of stress-ball-type items in the shapes of: a foot, a neon-pink brain, a computer, etc.); my collection of Audubon birds; several Beanie Babies(tm), including reindeer, a camel, and a rat; other odds and ends of toys and knick-knacks from some of our desks; and, of course, the flamingo. One Christmas, the tree was crowned by a rubber chicken, but the flamingo has reigned supreme ever since.

In the photos here, the flamingo is wearing a hand-colored cardboard bow-tie, a prop from a company party where, for some reason that I forget, we all wore these cartoonish ties. This year the flamingo sports a long strand of oversized pearls, and has a small fake bird attached to its neck via a green velvet bow-tie – much more stylish.

This year’s Christmas speech was not simply a variation on those of previous years. But I’m trying to keep this light, so that’s for another post…

This is our daily open thread — how do you decorate your Christmas tree?

The Watering Hole: Wednesday, 12/12/12: The Christmas Story, as told by a 3 year-old.

Santa CamelChristmas is when Santa Claus went down the chimbley and landed on the Baby Jesus. But he didn’t hurt the Baby Jesus because Mary and Joseph already had to put him down because he got the Mange.

But three days later the Baby Jesus woke up and hid all the Easter Eggs. And so the wise guys, they showed up to give the Baby Jesus some presents, but they didn’t have a lot of money. And so this one wise guy, named Frank, he gave the Baby Jesus some in cents. Because that’s all he had and he was sad about that so the wise guys, they all told the shepherds to go out and watch their flocks of reindeer.

And so they were watching their reindeer play games when this angel, this angel came down from heaven and sat on a Christmas Tree. And that had to hurt. So that’s why we a Angels on top of our Christmas Tree to remind the Angels not to sit on the Christmas tree.

And so the Angel taught the shepherds to sing Christmas songs because shepherds, shepherds you know, they are all real good singers because if you can’t sing you won’t get to be a shepherd. You have to be a wise guy or maybe an Angel and have to sit on a Christmas Tree.

So the shepherds all sang Happy Birthday to the Baby Jesus. But then they saw Santa there at the bottom of the chimbley and they got mad because they saw that Santa had put out the fire in the fireplace and they didn’t want the Baby Jesus to get a cold. So the shepherds they made Santa give all of his toys to the Baby Jesus and then give all of his toys to all the other children in the whole world because Santa had lots and lots of toys because Santa, all year Santa made toys in his workshop at the North Pole. But now he makes them in China because the North Pole melteded.

THIS BE THE OPEN THREAD O’TH’DAY. SHARE YOUR OWN CHRISTMAS STORIES, OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT COMES TO MIND.

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

Spirit Kat

Spirit Kat

Watering Hole: Monday, November 21, 2011 – Shop ‘Till You Drop

The big, box, retail stores are now moving their “black Friday” sales to Thanksgiving Day.  This bargain hunting has become another “holiday” of sorts.  Personally, I want no part of this shopping insanity.

Before leaving the house, ask these questions.

  • Do we really need more of the Chinese junk that is offered in the big, box stores?
  • Will our children suffer irreparable, emotional damage if they don’t get exactly what they want for Christmas?
  • Do we really know what other people would like to receive?  If we did, there wouldn’t be huge exchange lines the day after Christmas.
  • Are we spending our money that will leave our local communities just for a “bargain”?

Just like everyone else, I enjoy receiving gifts.  It may be the thought that counts, but I don’t need more “things” around my house.  When it comes to purchasing clothes, I prefer to buy my own clothes.  Some of the best gifts that I have received where gifts that were made by the giver.  Homemade food and homemade drinks are especially enjoyable.  Other favorites are gift certificates to either a bed and breakfast or to a local restaurant.   We always appreciate items made by local artisans.  These gifts support small, local businesses and keeps the money in the community.

This Christmas, try something different.  Show that you care about your own community by supporting local businesses.  Pass up the ‘super savings’ offered by the big, box, retail stores.   Shop local or make gifts.  The time spent shopping could be spent making something special for the people you love.  The receiver will always remember the care that you took in creating the gift.  This makes the gift special and not just another big, box, retail purchase.

This is our Open Thread.  What to you think?  Speak Up!