The Watering Hole, Monday, May 11, 2015: Glenn Beck Gets One Thing Right

Glenn Beck, who can best be remembered from me opening this post with his name, has finally said something with which I completely agree: He has no credibility. After talking about (rush transcript) the Bubba Effect,

What I’m afraid of is the Bubba Effect. And I’ve talked about this for about six years. I said, there’s going to come a time when you’ll start to have riots on the streets. There’s going to come a time when you’ll have terrorists come and do something. And the — and the feds will come in or the government will come in, and they will try to quell it or they’ll try to arrest somebody. And the town will say, uh-uh. Nope! You, United States government, you knew about it. You’re part of the problem. And the Bubba Effect comes from the one idea that — a Muslim goes and shoots somebody. And then Bubba, who just doesn’t — is not really paying attention. Sees a Sikh some place who wears a turban. Not a Muslim, but he’s a Sikh. But Bubba sees him and is like, you people. And he’s all enraged and he shoots a Sikh. Now, what’s going to happen? The DOJ has to come in and try him for murder. But because that town just experienced some sort of, you know, 40 kids in an elementary school shot and they knew that the federal government kept the borders open and these guys came across the borders, they were here illegally, or they were from that mosque down the street that everybody knew was an extremist mosque, but they did nothing about it. That’s when the citizens grab their guns and say to the DOJ, get the hell out of here. What Bubba did was wrong, but we’ll take care of it. We don’t need you here.

While it can certainly be classified as a hate crime, the DOJ usually doesn’t need to step in and try Bubba for murder unless the state, who normally prosecutes homicides, fails to convict him. And let’s be real, Glenn, those 40 fictitious kids who got shot in a school were, in all likelihood if this happened in this country, killed by a deranged white American kid who had no religious or quasi-religious motivations whatsoever. So any connection to our borders is just the paranoia or the bigotry talking, and who says it can’t be both? Also, it’s important to know exactly how everybody “knew” that mosque was extremist. Did they ever set foot inside it, or talk to anyone who had? I’m sure they didn’t, but they’re going to “grab their guns” anyway. because there isn’t a social problem in the world that can’t be solved with a gun, is there, Glenn? Where do you come up with this shit, anyway?

Now, this is not my theory. This is the theory that I learned from the Special Forces command about eight years ago. This is about 2004, and I go to the east coast. I go, where is that? Is that in Virginia? Where was that? Special Forces command? Fort Bragg. I’m at Fort Bragg and I’m talking to the press, and I said, what is your number one concern? And they said the Bubba Effect. They said, that’s coming at some point in the future.

Okay, 2004 was eleven years ago, not eight, and Fort Bragg is in North Carolina, not Virginia, but other than that…

Imagine Hillary Clinton making a gaffe like that on the campaign trail. “Eleven is the new eight” will be the new “Fifty-seven states.” We’d never hear the end of it. “Is she planning to be president for eleven years?” Actually, I’d like to hear them say something like that because it would mean they were admitting defeat before the votes take place. Then some of the wheels on Glenn’s Crazy Train started to wobble a bit…

Now, that hadn’t even occurred to me. This is before we’re really having any kind of real hatred and animosity toward each another. It’s the Michael Moore, you know, Fahrenheit 911 stuff. But we can handle all of that. It just happened. The beginning. Stage one just happened here in Dallas this weekend. And here it is. These marchers, they come in, Moms Against Police Brutality, and marchers for I don’t know, free all the Mexicans. I don’t know. Something about the border.

It was at this point, I believe, that the Lithium wore off completely…

Let them come in. Let them take jobs, whatever. So they’re marching down the street. And these guys are connected. They’re connected to the Nation of Islam. They’re connected to Open Society. George Soros. They’re connected to the Tides Foundation. This is a front group. This is front group. Pure and simple. The police are there. These groups are marching. But there’s somebody in between. It’s the open carry people.

Nation of Islam? Open Society? George Soros? Tides Foundation? All connected? All connected to these protests in Baltimore over the police murdering someone in their custody? And we should have no fear because the open carry people are there?

So now here are just citizens with long arms. They have a right to have the long arms. When asked by a reporter friend, what are you guys doing here? Well, we’re kind of the buffer between these guys and the police. What do you mean you’re the buffer between these guys and the police? Well, we know how the police reacted, listen to this, we know how the police reacted in Baltimore, and we want to make sure that, A, if there was any police brutality, we could kind of buffer that zone. If they start to push the cops, that we could be in between them so that the cops couldn’t really respond — so no bad stuff is going to happen. And if somebody starts looting our city, we’ll stop it. Because the police are going to be told like they were in Baltimore to stand down.

I’ll be candid with you. I didn’t follow the Baltimore stories really closely, as I try to avoid getting sucked into watching TV 24/7, so I don’t know if there were open carry enthusiasts standing guard to prevent looting or not, but I do know that the Crips, Bloods, and Black Guerrilla Family gangs called a truce to come together to do their own business protection. Glenn forgot to mention them.

Bubba Effect. There it is. That’s stage one. Nothing happened. So those guys went home. But now let me ask you something: If Bubba, who is carrying a long arm, they see somebody throwing mazel tov cocktails and they stop it, how many people in our community will say, no, no, no, wait a minute. You were told to stand down. These guys were burning our city down. They’re just neighbors in our neighborhood that are trying to stop these guys from burning our neighborhood down? A lot.

Good thing it wasn’t Molotov cocktails, because those things are really dangerous. I’m not sure that speculating about what might have happened is helpful when half the scenario you’re describing may have happened in your mind.

We’re being set up, guys. We are absolutely being set up. And I don’t know — this is what I pray every night. I don’t know how to do this, Lord. I don’t know what you want. I don’t know — I don’t know what you want. I can’t wake up any — oh, if I had the voice of an angel. I can’t wake anybody else up. They’ve smeared me. I’ve helped them smear me. I don’t have any credibility. Nobody is listening. I can tell you what’s coming. I’ve told you every step of the way. I know what’s coming next. [Boldface mine.]

Finally, Glenn Beck has said something with which I agree 100%. He has no credibility. How could he? He’s a self-described “rodeo clown.” Right Wing Watch has more about this recent beck meltdown.

Glenn wants you to be prepared. To be prepared for the day when he, and the voices of leaders like him, are silenced by the government.

How shall we prepare for the day when you are silenced by the government, Glenn? I’m thinking some weed should be involved.

This is our daily open thread. Feel free to talk about, ridicule, denigrate, or otherwise demean Glenn Beck, or even me, for that matter, or anything else you wish to talk about.

The Watering Hole, Saturday, January 3, 2015: The End Is Not Near

Conservatives who claim to be Christians spent last year proclaiming the end times were nigh upon us though the evidence clearly suggests otherwise. (We’re still here.) It’s both funny and sad. Funny because these folks seriously believe this nonsense, and sad because these folks seriously believe this nonsense. And it IS nonsense because it makes no sense whatsoever. There are at least three different things that prove to these folks that we are approaching the end times, and none of them have anything to do with each other, nor can they be linked in any coherent way. And what are the five things that give true believers an indication the world is coming to an end?

Start with the Obama Presidency. According to US Representative Emeritus Michele Bachmann, both President Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry are calling for both actual war and economic war with Israel. Of course, no such thing is actually happening, but when have facts ever gotten in the way of a Conservative Christian? (Speaking of which, can anyone out there list for me all of the teachings of Jesus that can even remotely be called Conservative? I strongly believe you can’t be both a Conservative and a Christian at the same time. That’s why Conservative Christians always come off as crazy. They’re walking around trying to believe two diametrically opposed philosophies.) Why she’s complaining baffles me because a war in Israel would bring about exactly what she desires – the end times, which means the Rapture, which means (she thinks) that she’s going to Heaven, despite all the many, many times she’s been known to bear false witness, such as in her claims that Obama dn Kerry want to bring about war in Israel. Or maybe, as televangelist Marion Gordon Robertson (better known as “Pot“, I mean, “Pat”) believes, the end times are upon us because Obama’s a “crypto-Muslim.” (Don’t worry, Pot’s praying for us. Did I say Pot again? I meant Pit, of course.) Or maybe it’s because Matthew Hagee is right and the end times are here as evidenced by Obamacare. Or maybe Franklin Graham is right and the end times are near because Obama isn’t cracking down on gay people enough like Vladimir Putin. (I meant not cracking down enough like Putin, not gay people like Putin. As far as I know, there is no evidence that proves that Putin is not gay.) Although Mark Creech thinks the end times are near because Obama is the Antichrist. Oh, and something about America being akin to the story of the Tower of Babel, which he believes “is a historical narrative of the first recorded form of government gone awry.” Right, because the Bible is such a reliable source of actual human history. (You can’t see them right now, but my eyes are rolling up in my head. Either because I can’t believe people believe the Bible contains reliable historical facts, or I’m having a stroke.) Or maybe Jonathan Wright is correct and Obama is the Antichrist because of the Bible Code. But whatever the reason, you can rest assured that the end of the world is coming because Barack Obama is president. (Isn’t it funny how the last three Republican presidents all gave huge tax breaks to the wealthy, which goes against everything Jesus taught his followers, but Obama is the Antichrist? Lies are a huge problem for real Christians, but not for Conservatives, which is why no Conservative can truly claim to be a Christian.)

Perhaps the end of the world is coming because of Ebola. Hagee thinks it might, and so does his father, John Hagee. But don’t worry, because Jim Bakker wants to sell you ice cream sandwiches to enjoy while everyone else is dead. Glenn Beck thinks Nigerian prison guards working in Texas will bring an airborne version of the deadly virus to the US and that we’ll be humbled (while we eat those sandwiches) and that Ebola was spiraling out of control. Not that facts have ever been known to influence your “thinking”, Glenn, but the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention believe the exact opposite.

But don’t think for a moment Teh Gays are getting away without blame for all of this because, you know, they have too many rights. Whether it’s Matt Barber and Deryl Edwards’ theory that acceptance of gay Christians is to blame, or Linda Harvey’s theory that marriage equality is bringing it about, or Michael Bresciani’s theory that gay rights are responsible for increased terrorism in the world, or Flip Benham’s theory that homosexuality destroys nations, or Rick Wiles’ theory that our lack of support for Vladimir Putin’s anti-gay policies will result in nuclear war, or Dwight McKissic’s theory that Michael Sam’s coming out will do it, or Scott Lively’s theory that a Satanic conspiracy is “homosexualizing the world,” or Mike Huckabee’s theory that gay marriage victories will lead to God’s judgment, or even Sam Rohrer’s theory that same-sex marriage will lead to “tyranny” and the “destruction of our nation”, somehow, some way, Teh Gays will bring about the end of the world.

Seriously, do these guys have anything else to think about? I know it comforts them to believe they will be Raptured, but I think they ought to learn a little bit more about the message of Jesus before they start thinking themselves saved. To be perfectly honest and 100% accurate, I have just as much chance of getting into Heaven as any of them do.

A longer version of this post will appear on Pick Wayne’s Brain later today. I’ll put a link on the blog name when it’s ready. Got some grocery shopping to do for Mom before the snow hits, and the playoffs begin.

UPDATE: The longer version is posted. And I neglected to add something to this post, which I did to the one on my Brain: My most humble thanks to the wonderful folks at Right Wing Watch for their painstaking research and cataloging of what the Right Wing is up to in public. Without them, my ability to report it back to you, Kind Readers, would be much, much harder.

This is our daily open thread. Feel free to discuss the end of the world, or anything else that pleases you.

The Watering Hole, Saturday, October 4, 2014: This Week in Paranoia: The Humbling Gay Ebola Gun Grab Anarchy

Courtesy of the good people at Right Wing Watch, we learn what’s got the right wing’s knickers in a twist. From soldiers being sent to West Africa to deliberately contract Ebola (a US Congressman actually said this) to gays trying to recruit your sons (I don’t hear them expressing any concern about your daughters, just your sons) to Obama coming for your guns (again, and for discredited reasons, again) to anarchy over teaching actual American History (because we don’t want to whitesplain it) to America being humbled because of the devastation Ebola will cause (undoubtedly after all those US Soldiers come back with it), the right wing in this country is becoming more and more unhinged from reality. I’d like to know what they’d say about Ebola if they actually understood how it’s transmitted from person to person. I’d also like to know what they’d say if they understood any of the other things they went haywire over lately. BTW, here’s a simple way to tell if you have Ebola: Have you been in contact with any kind of bodily fluid from a person infected with Ebola and showing symptoms? If the answer is “No,” then you do not have Ebola. It’s just that simple.

Professional Misanthrope Michael “Savage” Weiner (“Savage” is his phony name; his real last name is Weiner) actually believes that President Obama is sending 3,000 troops to West Africa in the hopes that at least one of them will contract Ebola, bring it back to the US, and infect the entire country. I am not making that up. And he must have convinced Rep Louie Gohmert (Orc, Middle Earth) who thinks this is part of the president’s problem with political correctness. I am not making that up, either. And then Ebola will turn everyone gay. Okay, I made that last one up. But I’m not the only one making things up about teh gay.

Paul Cameron, known for making shit up about gay people, was a guest of “Pray In Jesus Name” host Gordon Klingenschmitt (no friend to the either the LGBT or Reality communities), and he made the extraordinary (i.e., totally bullshit false) claim that “Homosexuals, from the get-go, as long as we have recorded history, have used the molestation of boys as a way to recruit to homosexuality.” He then goes on to spew, what I have no doubt are, made-up statistics (his leitmotif, which means, literally, “light more teeth”) to support his pre-conceived bigoted notions about gay people. “So this is a tremendous recruitment tool,” he said. “If a gay can get to your son first, the chances are about 50-50, as near as we can tell, that your son is going to be a practicing homosexual to some degree.” He feels it’s very important that your sons avoid having a “homosexual experience.” Ironically, Cameron was forced to perform oral sex on a man when he was four years old (he says.) Does that mean there’s a 50% chance that Paul Cameron is gay? Some people would say Yes.

Apparently out of any new reasons why Obama wants us all dead, Fox & Friends co-host Steve Doocy and former (thankfully) Judge Andrew Napolitano resurrected the discredited claim that the United Nations is coming for your guns. Napolitano also tried to vomit out the lie that more guns makes us more safe. Actual studies have proven this wrong. It’s thinking like this that really puts our nation in danger. Obama’s choice to be Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, believes that gun violence is a serious health issue. The NRA disagrees, of course, so his nomination is being held up. So thanks to the same party that thinks our nation is in great peril from Ebola, we have no Surgeon General to guide the nation through this health crisis (which isn’t a crisis yet at all, and likely won’t be.) Oh, and because Obama is taking away our guns, more of us are going to be beheaded. In this country. Because it happened once.

And one can’t help but think beheadings would be on the rise if we were in a state of anarchy, which right-wing darling and presidential I-think-I-wannabe Ben Carson believes is the direction this country is headed. And because of it, he won’t get to run for president because Obama will cancel the 2016 elections. He’s also joining the chorus of ill-minded people denouncing the new Advanced Placement US History curriculum, because it isn’t patriotic enough. Growing up, I wasn’t taught the truth about American history. The times when our nation did not live up to its ideals, when it didn’t seem to know right from wrong, they were glossed over. It wasn’t until I got older that I learned about things like the Tuskegee Airman experiments, the genocidal treatment of the Native Peoples living here before white Europeans showed up and claimed the land for themselves, and the numerous times our government deliberately overthrew democratically elected ones elsewhere in order to prop up a ruthless dictator who would grant US corporations special favors. I already knew Slavery was bad. But the right wing would prefer that our students be taught only the good things about America, not the bad things that eventually made it possible to do some of the good things we did.

Yet Glenn Beck thinks that because of all the bad things we’ve been doing, and continue to do, our country is headed for a “massive humbling.” That we are going to be brought down. And the beginning of that “massive humbling” may already have happened. With one case of Ebola.

This is our daily open thread. Finally. Feel free to discuss Ebola, gay recruitment, anarchy, guns, late posts, or anything else you wish to discuss.

Oh, Glenn….

Last night with Jon Stewart was classic. Don’t miss these clips..

From last night’s  The Daily Show:

George Soros Plans to Overthrow America

Glenn Beck concludes that the only explanation for George Soros’ relationships with various liberal media and charity non-profits is to overthrow America.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

The Manchurian Lunatic (quite possibly the funniest segment ever..)

Jon isn’t saying Glenn Beck is a saboteur sent to destroy Fox News, he’s merely asking why he’s doing George Soros’ work for him.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

(Jon Stewart, channeling Glenn Beck):

“America, what I’m about to show you is going to sound crazy. When I’m done tonight, your husband or wife will probably turn to you and say “Wow, that is the most destructive thing I have ever seen on television, legitimized by a corporate entity..”, but that’s okay, because F#@K [bleeped] her or him! You won’t need your wife or husband anymore, because you’ll be married to the truth.”