Good Morning, Fellow Critters.

In those States and Countries which observe Daylight Savings Time, you should have set your clock back an hour before going to bed last night.

If you are reading this and going “Doh!” go back to bed, set your clock back an hour and have a nice nap.

You Can’t Make This S#!t Up!

McCain, in Waterloo of all places, said his campaign is “doing fine.”

That’s right up there with his “the fundamentals of the economy are strong” statement just prior to cancelling his appearance on Letterman because the economy was “cratering.”

McCain, at Waterloo: Doing fine. Right.

Meanwhile, we need to get out the vote. I still believe it will have to be somethinng like 70-30 Obama in order to prevent McCain from winning by a Diebold.

By the way, expect the “terrorist alert” flag to be raised any day now, along with a new video from Bin Laden.

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Palin’s Pipeline to Nowhere

New details came out today regarding Palin’s Pipeline. It turns out to be worse than the fact that a) it won’t be built for years and b) it won’t make the lower 48 energy independent.

No, it’s starting to look like Palin picked the people to build it herself.

Gov. Sarah Palin’s signature accomplishment — a contract to build a 1,715-mile pipeline to bring natural gas from Alaska to the Lower 48 — emerged from a flawed bidding process that narrowed the field to a company with ties to her administration, an Associated Press investigation shows.

No wonder she was hand-picked to succeed Cheney. She’s already got the whole business of handing business to business croneys down cold.

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Yes, it IS all about Race – the PRESIDENTIAL RACE!

All cartoons are posted with the artists’ express permission to TPZoo.
Jeff Danziger
, Syndicated Political Cartoonist

Whatever you think of General Powell because of his participation in the lead-up to Bush’s War, he has seen the light, so to speak. It takes some amount of courage to speak out, knowing many former colleagues will label you a traitor, and many others will never accept you because of your past. Yet speak out he did. And, I believe, we are the better for it.

Wardrobe malfunction

I’d just like to thank all you Joe Sixpacks out there who donated so generously to the Republican Party so I can dress like a regular Hockey Mom and do the people’s business and, you know, clean up that mess of corruption and deceit in Washington D.C.

All cartoons are posted with the artists’ express permission to TPZoo.
Steve Sack
, Minneapolis Star-Tribune

Columbus Day

Columbus Day closures
October 13, 2008

Today is Columbus Day. The following schedules will be in effect in observance of the holiday:

* Government: All city, county, state and federal offices and courts will be closed.

* Mail: No delivery; post offices will be closed.

* Public transit: MTA bus service and Metrolink rail service will be unaffected.

* Banks: Most financial institutions will be closed.

* Schools: Most public campuses and institutions of higher education will be in session.

* Trash collection: Most pickups will be unaffected.

Ok, so Columbus made a slight miscalculation and ran into another continent on his way to India. And the Vikings apparently discovered North America First. And before that, there is reason to believe the Chinese or Polynasians discovered South and Central America. Some of us still get the day off.

On a related note, if the mapmaker Amerigo Vespucci had signed with his last name instead of his first, we might be living in Vespucciland. Think about that, next time you hear “America the Beautiful” or, maybe not.

But…But….Bill Ayers!!!

McCain/Palin supporters, while you’re railing about Ayers, chew on this:

At a ceremony in Oslo, Norway on December 10, 1994 Yasser Arafat, master terrorist, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Ayers may have been a radical, domestic terrorist when Obama was 8 years old. That was then: This is now. People change.

Today Ayers is a professor of education and a Senior University Scholar at the University of Illinois. He has also authored a series of books about parenting and educating children, including: A Kind and Just Parent; To Become a Teacher; City Kids; City Teachers; To Teach; The Good Preschool Teacher; Zero Tolerance: Resisting the Drive for Punishment in Our Schools; and Teaching Towards Freedom: Moral Commitment and Ethical Action in the Classroom.

News Bumped by the Bailout

In addition to the Attorney-gate Scandal being bumped off the front page, there’s some revoltin’ developments happenin’ in Sarah’s home state of Alaska. You, the one right across that tiny stretch of water from ol’ Putin.

A lawsuit aimed at freezing the Legislature’s abuse-of-power investigation of Gov. Sarah Palin hits the courtroom this week.

Ted Stevens:

Allen testifies in Stevens trial

By Richard Mauer and Erika Bolstad
Anchorage Daily News

Published: September 30th, 2008 02:48 PM
Last Modified: September 30th, 2008 02:48 PM

WASHINGTON — The self-made Alaska construction executive whose testimony could bring to an end the 40-year U.S. Senate career of Ted Stevens took the stand today in the corruption case against his former fishing buddy and friend.

The Sun Rose in the East Today

In spite of predictions of the end of the world should the bailout bill fail to pass, the sun continued to rise in the east, although the McCain campaign did note it was a bit later than yesterday.

A McCain spokesperson, speaking from the Palin Campaign Headquarters in Alaska, opined whether this heralded the beginning of the end, and predicted that the sun would rise at a later time each day until, at some point, it would fail to rise at all, plunging the land into darkness. Sales of solar-driven energy supplies plummetted on the news.

Others, however, pooh-pooed the doom-and-gloom scenario and predicted that, while there is decreasing amounts of sunlight now, sunlight will increase after the Winter Solstice. They based their statements on science supported by observations going back thousands of years to the building of the Great Pyramids and Stonehenge. Creations shot back, claiming that the Great Pyramids and Stonehenge were built before God created Heaven and Earth and were therefore tools of the Devil.

Walmart reported a run on flashlight batteries, and many banks have been inundated with customers seeking to withdraw their Daylight Savings.

Stimulus Leaves Economy Limp

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WASHINGTON – Consumer spending in August turned in the weakest performance in six months, underscoring the threat the economy faces as the government’s stimulus program fades into the past.

This was to be expected. As the American Consumer maxed out his/her credit cards and could no longer refinance the home to obtain more credit, spending began to slow down. When spending slows down the economy goes into a recession. Since a recession could not be allowed to happen on Bush’s watch, the government borrowed money, gave it to the consumer, who then spent it, keeping the economy growing, on paper at least.

Once the effects of the quick-fix dissapated, reality hit, and it hit hard:

After-tax incomes, which felt the impact of the stimulus program to a greater extent, dropped by 0.9 percent, however.

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Too Close to the Truth for Fox

Conservatives Begin Questioning Palin’s Heft
by Associated Press
Sunday, September 28, 2008

A growing number of Republicans are expressing concern about Sarah Palin’s uneven – and sometimes downright awkward – performances in her limited media appearances.

Conservative columnist Kathleen Parker, a former Palin supporter, says the vice presidential nominee should step aside. Kathryn Jean Lopez, writing for the conservative National Review, says “that’s not a crazy suggestion” and that “something’s gotta change.”

You won’t find this article on Fox anymore. It’s been scrubbed. But what happens in cyberspace stays in cyberspace. This article brought to you by Bradblog and Huffington Post. Click the links to read more.

Churches + Politics = Theocracy

Evangelical Churches across the nation are wading into politics with pastors endorsing candidates from the pulpit. While they risk losing their tax-exempt status, they are gambling on a McCain/Palin victory which would, they hope, repeal the prohibition against political speech by tax-exempt organizations.

The Alliance Defense Fund has been promoting this movement here.

CNN has a video here: CNN Video

While they do have an argument under “freedom of speech,” it loses force when they argue that not only are they free to endorse political candidates (as opposed to social issues) but they should also continue to be taxpayer subsidized through their special tax-exempt status. More and more, evangelical christians are acting like the radical mullahs they so passionately fear.

In the battle of “Who’s God is THE God,” we, the people, always lose.

Running on Character

The McCain camp would dearly love to make this campaign all about character, not issues. And why not? After all, they’re running “The Maverick” and “Miss Congeniality” against an “uppity” black man.

William Kristol, cofounder of the Project for the New American Century writes:

Should voters be alarmed by a relatively young or inexperienced vice-presidential candidate? No. Since 1900, five vice presidents have succeeded to the presidency during their term in office: Teddy Roosevelt in 1901, Calvin Coolidge in 1923, Harry Truman in 1945, Lyndon Johnson in 1963, and Gerald Ford in 1974. Teddy Roosevelt took over at age 42, becoming our youngest president, and he’s generally thought to have proved up to the job. Truman was V.P. for less than three months and had been kept in the dark by Franklin Roosevelt about such matters as the atom bomb — and he’s generally thought to have risen to the occasion. Character, judgment and the ability to learn seem to matter more to success as president than the number of years one’s been in Washington.”

Mind you, this is in support of Govenor Sarah Palin. Kristol concludes, “A Wasilla Wal-Mart Mom a heartbeat away? I suspect most voters will say, No problem. And some — perhaps a decisive number — will say, It’s about time.”

What have we learned in the intervening 2 weeks since Kristol blithely suggested that Palin, McCain too, for that matter, have the character, judgment and the ability to learn necessary to be President?

Palin is clueless about the Bush Doctrine – and Republicans complain that it was an unfair question.

Palin’s credentials on National Security boil down to the fact that one can see Russia from Alaska (note: no one actually claims she has traveled to wherever it is in Alaska that one can see Russia) and Palin is put forth as the Nation’s leading expert on Energy. Yet when asked about the oil export ban, Palin’s answer is incomprehensible.
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Fill in the Blank _____________

Text of Draft Proposal for Bailout Plan



Section 1. Short Title.

This Act may be cited as ____________________.

The Act doesn’t have an Official Title yet. Soooo….

I thought it would be fun if we could suggest some possible titles to the Bush Administration.

Be Creative.


Got Debt?

Before Bush: 

June 18, 2000

Lowering the Debt for our Kids
Washington, D.C.-Father’s Day is here…an entire day dedicated to appreciating our dads and being appreciated by our kids. It is a good day, I can tell you from experience. Receiving my three kids’ notes and gifts reminds me of how much I want to give to them. I want to offer them the best start in life that I possibly can. And as a nation we can give all of our sons and daughters a huge advantage in their lifetime by working to see that our children and grandchildren are not left with mountains of debt from the generations before.
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