The Watering Hole, Saturday, March 4th, 2017: Look Back and Laugh…and Sigh

We need to take a break from the horror that America has become under a dark, grim authoritarian regime that’s less than two months old, and look back at what – in now-stark contrast – were the halcyon days of Barack Obama, The Laughing President.

President Obama was always at ease with himself, so he was also (almost) always at ease with foreign leaders, celebrities, his fellow Democrats, former Presidents from both sides of the aisle, even the Pope, for heaven’s sake; and even, FFS, the PRESS, that “Enemy of the American People”:

Notice that German Chancellor Angela Merkel doesn't mind President Obama touching her.

Notice that German Chancellor Angela Merkel doesn’t mind President Obama touching her.

Jon Steward and President Obama share a pose and a smile

Jon Stewart and President Obama share a pose and a smile

President Obama has a good laugh with David Letterman

President Obama heartily laughing with David Letterman

V.P. Joe Biden and President Obama acting casually.

V.P. Joe Biden and President Obama perform synchronized laughing.

Patently genuine laugh between Hillary Clinton and President Obama

Patently genuine laugh between Hillary Clinton and President Obama

Hillary's losing it, but Obama is happy to provide support

Hillary’s losing it, but Obama provides support

President Obama and former President Bill Clinton having a good time

President Obama and former President Bill Clinton having a good time

"THERE ARE FOUR PRESIDENTS [laughing]!"

“THERE ARE FOUR PRESIDENTS [laughing]!”

The President and The Pope

The President and The Pope

President Barack Obama's mic drop at his final Nerd Prom

President Barack Obama’s mic drop at his final Nerd Prom

But the ease and warmth that he obviously shared with so many others pales in comparison with the almost-visible aura of the unmistakable ease, warmth, humor, respect and love that he shares with his wife Michelle:

Barack and Michelle, side by side, as a loving couple should be...

Barack and Michelle, side by side, as a loving couple should be…

Date night out?

Date night out?

Now THAT'S "Class!"

Now THAT’S “Class!”

I won’t sully this brief remembrance of better times with the name(s) or photo(s) of the current fake occupier of our White House. I hope that, as I did, you couldn’t help but smile in response to President Barack Obama’s infectious grin.

[…sigh…]

This is our Open Thread, a bit late – enjoy!

The Watering Hole, Saturday, July 16th, 2016: ICYMI – The Only Good News This Week

Not only will Bill Maher be covering the Republican National Convention, but we’ll also have the king of political comedy, Jon Stewart, joining Stephen Colbert to cover both the RNC and the DNC. IMHO, this is the best news in a long time, and I’m looking forward to (hopefully) having some good laughs before weeping at the terrible decline of this nation on ugly, garish display.

In the meantime, I collected some happy gifs that commenters at Raw Story posted. Enjoy!

colbert and jon stewart drink tea

colbert popcorn

jon stewart popcorn

colbert yes nice you like

jon stewart happy moves

calvin and hobbes happy dancing

the doctor oh yes

This is our daily Open Thread, so go ahead and talk about stuff.

The Watering Hole, Saturday, June 4th, 2016: (R)s vs “Modern Technology”

Is there something about Republican politicians’ brains that makes them forget that modern-day recording technology exists? And when I say “modern-day recording technology”, I mean everything from plain video cameras to audio tape recordings to “smart” phones that record audio/video unobtrusively.

Over the last decade and more, Republican politicians and pundits have continually denied saying or doing certain things, when video and/or audio recording of their words or actions proves that they did.  How can they continue to deny, deny, deny, and often continue to deny even when confronted with the actual evidence?  Perhaps they are so against any kind of progress that they can’t even admit to the existence of even such ‘ancient’ technological breakthroughs as video cameras?  Psst…(R)s…they DO exist–have you ever seen a “movie”?

Sometimes the Republicans’ unfamiliarity and discomfort with technology can have humorous results – remember “it’s a series of tubes!”, and Strom Thurmond asking a hearing witness to “speak into the macheeeeene”?  And no one used video evidence directly contradicting someone’s lies better than Jon Stewart, whose “roll 212” meme was comedic gold, particularly in the infamous Jim Cramer interview.

These days, with The Donald and his Trumpets (or Trumpettes, if they’re female) lying then denying on a daily basis, it’s more important than ever to remind the liars of their lying lies. And, while I’m still not a Hillary Clinton devotee, I have to admire the fact that her campaign put together a handy reference guide in advance of her “foreign policy” speech the other day, providing the exact Trump quotes on which she based her comments in the speech. A few examples:

[Clinton] “He has said that he would order our military to carry out torture…”

TRUMP: “Don’t tell me it doesn’t work — torture works… Waterboarding is fine, but it’s not nearly tough enough, ok?”

and

[Clinton] “He says he doesn’t have to listen to our generals or ambassadors, because he has – quote – “a very good brain.”

TRUMP: “I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a lot of things…my primary consultant is myself”

and

[Clinton] “He says he has foreign policy experience because he ran the Miss Universe pageant in Russia.”

TRUMP: “I know Russia well. I had a major event in Russia two or three years ago, Miss Universe contest, which was a big, big, incredible event.”

It would be nice if the “news media” and “journalists” would remember, and remind their audiences, that actual reality-based non-partisan proof exists that puts the lie to what any candidate for the U.S. Presidency claims, but particularly in the case of such a delusional arrogant professional liar like Trump.  It is vital to our nation’s future that Trump and his ilk be thwarted, and that their bigoted, bullying, ignorant “philosophy” (yes, I know, “philosophy” is too cerebral a word to use in this case, but…) be relegated back to the fringes of our culture where it belongs.

 

This is our daily Open Thread–what’s on your mind this weekend?

The Watering Hole, Saturday, April 2nd, 2016: A Little Humor

I’ll start with the first of two jokes which one of my co-workers sent me; the second of the two will be at the end. That way we can begin and end with a smile. (Okay, there’ll be humor in the middle, too.)

“A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?” The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work? The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic. “Try doing it with the engine running.””

Next, a whole bunch of political stuff from a recent Washington Post newsletter called “The Daily Trail”, including but not limited to:

-poll numbers indicating how ‘yugely’ unpopular Donald Trump is among women and other demographics;
-Trump + Reince Priebus = GOP Party Loyalty?
-Ted Cruz pulls out RNC rule book in anti-Kasich move;
-Superpac for Kasich responds with weird Pinocchio-themed anti-Cruz ad (created by the same guy who made what was called the “Demon Sheep” ad.)
-initial Electoral College projections from the University of Virginia show some good news for Democrats;
-will candidates never learn how to eat a slice of New York pizza in a New York pizzeria in the traditional New York manner? (Jon Stewart, I hope you’re not following ANY of this, please, it’s not good for your blood pressure!)
-and more!

Also from the Washington Post, an ‘April Fools’ story (okay, I’m a day behind) about two college professors who “gave up the fight to convince Americans that Africa is not, in fact, a country.”

And now the second of the two jokes:

“While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use? “Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages. “Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.

But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient? “Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.

“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?” Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.” [rim shot]

This is our daily Open Thread – enjoy yourselves!

Sunday Roast: Antonin Scalia is no more*

Via RawStory (various headlines):

“On behalf of the court and retired justices, I am saddened to report that our colleague Justice Antonin Scalia has passed away,” Chief Justice John Roberts said in a statement on Saturday, calling Scalia, 79, an “extraordinary individual and jurist.”

My dear old Mom always said, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”  So here’s me sitting quietly…

Here’s how Antonin Scalia’s death changes the balance of the court and alters the 2016 presidential race.

Minutes after Scalia’s death right-wingers seek to block nominee Obama hasn’t even appointed yet.

Obama speaks about passing of Supreme Court Justice Scalia.  Our President is such a kind man…

Jon Stewart shreds Scalia’s marriage-equality dissent:  “He had no problem telling voters to ‘f*ck off’ in Citizens United.  Feel the Bern…

And finally, this apropo headline from The Onion:

Justice Scalia Dead Following 30-Year Battle With Social Progress

*HT to John Cleese in Monty Python’s “Dead Parrot” sketch for the headline of this post.

This is our daily open thread — Leave your thoughts in the comments section, while I sit here quietly.

The Watering Hole, Saturday, April 18th, 2015: This Week In Faux News

I was going to write about Rand Paul’s “Libertarian” followers, but thankfully Wayne steered me to PoliticusUSA’s “Friday Fox Follies”, which is a bit more entertaining. Well, that’s if by “entertaining” one means ‘laughing because screaming is the only other alternative.’

Rand Paul acolytes are NOT “entertaining”, by any definition in any dictionary on this or any other planet.

On the other hand, Friday Fox Follies, put together by Headly Westerfield, is a stupefying roundup of the past week’s non-stories, conspiracy theories, idiotic commentary and other nonsense, all hacked up from the fine folks at Fox “News.” This week, the Follies ‘2016 Presidential hopefuls’ edition’ provides links to anything and everything, from Media Matters’ Fox coverage, to Hillary Clinton and “Chipotleghazi” [term courtesy of Evan McMurray of Mediaite], to Jon Stewart ranting at the media**, to Bernie Sanders schooling Bill O’Reilly, to Donald Trump-or-Monkey [thank you, David Letterman, for linking those two forever in my mind.] There are so many links, you’re sure to find more than one story to pique the interest.

**Jon Stewart Watch: I’ve noticed for the last week or so, Jon has been using the first segment of his show to ream, eviscerate, and generally rant about various topics, including his amazing tirade about Dick Cheney. I think that Jon is taking advantage of the time his show has left to really get everything off his chest, in his own inimitable style. The “real news media” should sit up and pay attention, because Jon seems to be pointing in their direction.

This is our daily Open Thread – have at it!

The Watering Hole, Monday, December 10th, 2012: The “War on Christmas”

Since Faux Noose is doing its annual “War on Christmas” blamefest, I thought that looking at the lighter side of this epic battle would be more fun:

In this clip, Jon Stewart once again battles the Faux outrage over “War on Christmas” (I apologize, I couldn’t manage to embed it, so you’re stuck with the 30-second commercial prelude.)

Personally, I’ve always felt that this South Park clip explains who “took Christ out of Christmas” – it’s all Santa’s fault:

And of course, there’s this hilarious Jesus and Santa duet.

Seeing all of the commercials for “the perfect gift” that most of us can’t afford to buy (who the fuck gives someone a car for Christmas?), I also blame good old Capitalism for helping to destroy the “true meaning of Christmas.” So I’m blaming Santa and Capitalism for making Christmas what it is today: an insane challenge to get exactly the right present for the lowest price, even if one has to elbow a few fellow shoppers out of the way to do so. For those of us who are stressed out over Christmas/holiday preparations, I hope this lightens your mood.

This is our daily open thread — How’s your Christmas spirit holding up?

Jon Stewart Exposes Sarah Palin’s ‘Dishonorable’ Campaign Fundraising

Priceless. Sarah Palin, the Nigerian princess.. This ‘crazy person’, who started SARAHPAC, is laughing all the way to the bank..

I’m breaking my own rule here by posting something on Sarah “the grifter” Palin, but this was too good to pass up.

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Moneybrawl – The Extinction of Subway, Bill O’Reilly and The Super Rich

From The Daily Show last night:

Every day, America loses more and more millionaires to abusive individual and corporate tax rates.

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Jon Stewart had started this segment with this bit on Barack Obama selling his tax plan to Americans by appealing to their love of math.

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Tone Def Poetry Jam

From The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, aired May 11, 2011.

A White House invitation to Grammy-winning vegetarian Common sparks controversy at Fox News… The only way to express the ridiculousness of Fox News is through a musical iteration of the spoken word.

It’s clear the bubble heads on Fox Noise — I’m looking at you Sean Hannity — loves them some violent lyrics, as long as they’re written by white guys like Johnny Cash and Ted Nugent.

Jon Stewart ends with his own, free-style rap to put this NON-ISSUE in perspective, and FOX NOISE in their place (which is back in their hole).

PART 1:
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PART 2:
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Gaypocalypse Now..

From TPM:

Jon Stewart last night lampooned Sen. John McCain’s (R-AZ) on his continued stalwart opposition to repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, even after the Pentagon released its review indicating that a repeal of the ban on openly gay men and women would have little to no effect on military readiness.”McCain’s like one of them Japanese soldiers living on Okinawa in 1949, still fighting because he doesn’t realize the war ended a long time ago,” Stewart said. “And, for some reason, even though he’s been alone for years and years on this island, doesn’t like gay people.”

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Oh, Glenn….

Last night with Jon Stewart was classic. Don’t miss these clips..

From last night’s  The Daily Show:

George Soros Plans to Overthrow America

Glenn Beck concludes that the only explanation for George Soros’ relationships with various liberal media and charity non-profits is to overthrow America.

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The Manchurian Lunatic (quite possibly the funniest segment ever..)

Jon isn’t saying Glenn Beck is a saboteur sent to destroy Fox News, he’s merely asking why he’s doing George Soros’ work for him.

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(Jon Stewart, channeling Glenn Beck):

“America, what I’m about to show you is going to sound crazy. When I’m done tonight, your husband or wife will probably turn to you and say “Wow, that is the most destructive thing I have ever seen on television, legitimized by a corporate entity..”, but that’s okay, because F#@K [bleeped] her or him! You won’t need your wife or husband anymore, because you’ll be married to the truth.”

TDS: It Gets Worse PSA

From The Daily Show last night:

Senator McCain, we know you’re going through a tough time with this “don’t ask, don’t tell” thing, but trust us, it gets worse.

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Last night Rachel Maddow also did a segment on the views—and their are many—of John McCain. Her question at the end? Why does ANYONE listen to ANYTHING John McCain has to say on ANY subject.. Wait 5 minutes and he’ll say something different, taking a totally different stance.. The incoherence and hypocrisy demonstrated by John McCain is absolutely astounding..

Senator John McCain versus Senator John McCain

Great job of putting this segment together Rachel. Brilliant!

Sunday Roast: “If we amplify everything, we hear nothing”

Reason?  Sanity?  Yes, please.

200,000 people on the Washington Mall, celebrating the fact that we are more alike than we are different; proclaiming to the world and the media that we WILL NOT live our lives in fear; and that we will not be manipulated into voting against our own best interests.

This is us.

This is our daily open thread.  Share whatever’s on your mind.

President Obama on The Daily Show

Last night on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart interviewed President Barack Obama.

Part 1:

Barack Obama believes a lot has been accomplished over the last 18 months in very difficult circumstances.

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Part 2:

Barack Obama disagrees with the notion that the health care bill is timid when 30 million people are going to get insurance as a result.

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Part 3:

Barack Obama says changing the legislative process and reducing the power of special interests is a work in progress.

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The Parent Company Trap

TDS: “Fox News is either evil or stupid for not mentioning that Alwaleed bin Talal is News Corp.’s largest shareholder.”

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In last night’s episode of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart summarized all the stuff he had previously said about Fox News Channel and the misnamed Ground Zero Mosque (which is neither at Grounds Zero or, properly speaking, a mosque), and he said, “And then this morning I heard this…”

And it was former Bushie Dan Senor talking about how the funding for the mosque might come from this guy who gives money to all kinds of terrorist networks. He even tried to give $10 million to Rudy Giuliani after the 9/11 attacks. (Rudy turned it down.) And they insisted that THIS guy might be the one funding the “GZM”. Of course, the entire time they were talking about this terrorist funder, they kept not mentioning his name while showing pictures of Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf.

It turns out that the guy they were talking about, the guy who funded terrorists all over the world—is the Saudi Prince (Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin Talal) who is the largest shareholder in NewsCorp outside the Murdoch family. (Does that mean that News Corp and Fox News is owned in part by a funder of ‘terrorism’?? Does that make them a terrorist organization??? Just asking..)

Jon’s inescapable conclusion? The only way to stop funding the Ground Zero Mosque is to stop watching Fox News.

Perhaps one of the best segments ever..

Today Juan Cole posted this video as well. He wrote:

Apparently most of the country actually prefers Democrats to Republicans, thinks well of Obama’s major initiatives, and just wants the jobs to come back. All this noise about tea parties and vilifying Muslim Americans is being generated by just three guys– the Koch brothers and Rupert Murdoch. And poor Prince Alwaleed’s capital is being used for Islamophobia. For a Saudi prince to help fund Fox Cable News is like having a prominent African American entrepreneur fund a Steppin Fetchit remake. If I were he, I’d sell my shares in Fox, or maybe sue Newscorp for libel. I know suing yourself for libel could be complicated, but surely there is a tax break in there somewhere.

Jon Stewart & Anderson Cooper Look at Gaping Holes – Security

“Terror Babies” – What an insanely ridiculous claim.. (If you missed this entire interview with Anderson Cooper trying to pin down Rep. Louie Gohmert, giving him opportunity to give proof of his insane claims, watch it here in its entirety. Kudos to Anderson Cooper for keeping a straight face as he continues to press Rep. Gohmert with valid questions while this crazy lawmaker goes off on his crazy, continuous, loud rant.)

Rep. Louie Gohmert.. Oh dear lord.. (banging my head on my desk..)
This guy is more like Gomer Pyle, just not nearly as smart (my apologies to Gomer Pyle). I just can’t believe this person is a member of the U.S. Congress. My favorite part of this segment is when Jon trumps the “Terror Babies” claim with the U.S. having HERO Babies! No problem!

At the end of one of the Gohmert clips the Representative says (this while comparing Hitler and his followers to President Obama and those who voted for him):

“We do have useful idiots today who are heard to say “Wow, what we really need is for the president to be a dictator for a little while..”

Rep. Gohmert should be more concerned with the gaping hole between his ears..

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For comparison sake, here is a short clip of Gomer Pyle – “Well, gaw-w-w-lly!”

McChrystal’s Balls – Honorable Discharge

The media questions Rolling Stone’s access to Stanley McChrystal, and Gretchen Carlson knows what it’s like to have Obama’s tough job.  She makes “executive decisions” on a daily basis.   Fortunately for us, her decisions have no impact on governing our nation.

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