TWH 6/22/16 RNC Sues Trump for Hijacking its Base

morning after camel

What, me worry?

With less than four weeks to the Republican National Convention and more and more establishment Republicans jumping ship, the RNC took the unusual step of suing its presumed nominee – – for hijacking the Republican base. The Republican Party invested hundreds of millions of dollars cultivating a base of voters whom it could rely upon in election after election, ever since they embraced the “Dixiecrats” in the 60s. Hate radio and the Christian Coalition groomed this potent block of voters. Gerrymandering insured this small but reliable base would elect establishment Republicans at every level of government. Then Trump came along and, like the pie-eyed piper, swept them away from the establishment candidates. The ones like Ted Cruz, whose evangelical Christian values were primed to put him into the Whitehouse.

Indeed, in the days before the RNC filed its lawsuit, those in the Cruz camp were trying to muster enough votes to change the rules – – to allow delegates to break from Trump if voting for him violates their moral or religious beliefs. However, such a move would be sure to pit “family values” Christians against misogynist, racist, xenophobic Christians, further fracturing the Republican base.

The lawsuit, filed in the United States District Court Northern District of Ohio that includes Cleveland, Ohio in its jurisdictional boundaries, seeks a writ of mandate, or, in the alternative, a restraining order that would strip Trump of all of his elected delegates. Should it succeed, the Republican Convention would be wide open. The Republican Party could even nominate someone who never participated in the primaries.

When asked about the lawsuit, Trump seemed to be taken off-guard.

“They’re suing me?” he asked. “The Republican Party is suing the most winningest candidate ever? Well, I can tell you this. I’m gonna sue them! I’m gonna sue them like they’ve never been sued before. I’m gonna sue them so hard and so fast they’ll be begging to drop their lawsuit. And then I’m gonna sue them for suing me. I know lawsuits, and believe me, this is gonna be one doozy of a lawsuit. And I’m gonna win. Because that’s what I do. I win. I’m gonna sue and I’m gonna win. And it’s gonna be a big win. A huge win. This win will make all other wins seem like losses in comparison, it’s gonna be that big of a win. And I’m gonna make the Republican Party pay for this win, it’s gonna be that big.”

Meanwhile, Sarah Palin was seen packing up her Constitution and Flag-wrapped RV and heading for Cleveland.


The Watering Hole: Wednesday, September 5, 2012: Searching for a Grain of Truth

“Walker”, The Zoo’s underground reporter.

Dateline: September 1, 2012.

Following the RNC’s Convention, “Walker” (not his real name) Mole went underground in search for a grain of truth.

“I got nuthin’.” Walker reported. “I started out in Tampa, figuring that where the convention was held would be the closest to the truth. I was wrong. Oh, sure, down there amongst all the sand, half-truths abounded. But I couldn’t find one single grain of truth there. I knew I had to dig deeper, and so I did.”

The Mole wasn’t heard from for several days. Suddenly, he emerged in China, of all places.

“Thankfully, I had my Chinese-Mole dictionary with me. It turns out that after digging straight through the earth, I found a grain of truth. The Chinese figure that with Romney as President, they’ll be able to buy the country. They looked at his record at Bain Capital, and figured it wouldn’t take long before Romney began shedding parts of the Federal Government in order to maximize short-term gains. They’re looking at buying the Department of Interior and the Department of Transportation. They realize they’ll be in a bidding war with Saudi Arabia for the Department of Energy.”

The Mole then expanded his search for a grain of truth, and found himself in Germany. “The Germans, it seems, have their eye on the Department of Education. But they’re afraid Romney will just scrap that Department and farm it out to the 50 States. So they’re naturally leery about trying to pick it up piecemeal. But if they can buy the whole thing at one shot, they figure they’ll come out ahead in the long run.”

“By the time this report airs, I’ll be in North Carolina.” Walker Mole continued, “looking for a grain of truth to fall from the Democratic Convention.”


If Only The Republicans Knew

If you were ever so declined, as I was, to open up and read the 2008 Republican Party Platform, you might have noticed something, printed lovingly, on page two of the pdf document. It’s a few words, barely a line or two, from “America the Beautiful”.

This platform is respectfully dedicated to our
“…heroes proved
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life.”
America the Beautiful
Katharine Lee Bates

My first thought, though I probably shouldn’t say this, was, “Wasn’t she a Socialist?” But then I grabbed the nearest two-by-four and smacked myself over the head, because I was getting her confused with Francis Bellamy, the author of The Pledge of Allegiance, who, it turns out, is a guy! (I did say I shouldn’t say this, didn’t I? Serves me right.) Anyway, the man who wrote the Pledge of Allegiance did not believe in the same things today’s Republican Party believed in, but they still feel they should recite his words at every political event. Not that I’m trying to say they like to turn patriotism into a political issue or anything. Ironic indeed. Hey, did someone say “ironic”? Just wait, there’s more!

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Creepy as presented by the GOP

McCain is having a contest… lets get out there and video our neighbors. Now do we have to let people know that we are making a video of them or can we just DO IT 8)

Okay, Critters… here’s your chance to go to the Republican Convention. Now wouldn’t that be a blast. Maybe you could sit next to Michael Moore 🙂