The Watering Hole: Wednesday, January 15, 2014: Hump Day: A Bridge Too Farce…

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Well, folks, the long awaited Traffic Study commissioned by Governor Chris Christie that necessitated the closure of 3 out of 4 toll boths on the busiest bridge in the world has now been released. Among its findings are:

  1. If you shut down the world’s busiest bridge, you create the world’s greatest gridlock.
  2. If you create the world’s greatest greatest gridlock, it will have a negative impact on the economy.
  3. If you cause a negative impact on the economy, people are going to ask why.
  4. If people ask why, you will have to lie.
  5. If you have to lie, an angel loses its wings.
  6. If an angel loses its wings, it falls to earth and becomes Satan.
  7. If an angel becomes Satan, gays will get married.
  8. If you want to keep gays from getting married, don’t shut down the world’s busiest bridge.

OPEN THREAD
IT’S HUMP DAY!
WOO-HOO

44 thoughts on “The Watering Hole: Wednesday, January 15, 2014: Hump Day: A Bridge Too Farce…”

    • – The Bridges At Toko-Ri

      A great film and I always get choked up on Frederic March’s last lines:

      “Where do we get such men? They leave this ship and they do their job. Then they must find this speck lost somewhere pn the sea. When the find it they have to land on it’s pitching deck. Where do we get such men?”

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  3. And, when you’re governor is a lying bastard you sell your house and move into tent in a mosquito infested swamp in another state.

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  4. Milwaukee Voucher School LifeSkills Academy Closes ‘In the Dead of the Night’

    A small private school participating in the Milwaukee Parental Choice Program abruptly closed in the middle of December, but not before collecting more than $200,000 from taxpayers this academic year to educate students who now attend other schools, state officials confirmed.

    LifeSkills Academy, a K-8 school that had dwindled to 66 students, appears to have closed around Dec. 12, according to a letter sent to the school from the Department of Public Instruction.

    If you’re going to take federal money as a private institution, to teach children entitled by law to a free public education, you should be required to post a bond that is forfeited if the school fails during a school year. Privately-run entities are too easily shut down if there is no penalty for doing so.

    You can’t even work on private property here without being bonded, in the event you cause more damage than the net worth of your business. Remodelers, tree surgeons, plumbers, electricians, and roofers all have to be backed up by a bond.

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  5. If you take federal money to teach children in chartered private schools and fail then you have to go into bankruptcy
    If you go into bankruptcy, other school children will laugh at your children for having losers for parents.
    If your children are humiliated for having losers for parents they’ll become bike gang members.and kick your ass.
    Don’t offer federal money to teach children in chartered private schools.

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    • When you take money from the government for a private school and fail, you declare bankruptcy.
      When you declare bankruptcy while receiving federal funding you set a poor financial example for the children.
      When you set a poor financial example for children, they grow up to become bankers on Wall Street.
      When your children grow up to be banksters, they rob the bank and then whine to the government for a bailout.
      When the government capitulates with a massive taxpayer funded bailout, you get screwed over.
      When you get screwed over, you move to a tent in a mosquito infested swamp.
      When you move into a tent in a mosquito infested swamp, your children on Wall Street that screwed you over will foreclose on your tent in the mosquito infested swamp.
      Don’t let your children become Wall Street bankers, send them to public schools.

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      • You’re really good at these. Here’s a true but non-funny one:
        When you take money from public education and divert it to private schools, there is less money for public schools.
        When there is less money for public schools, special ed budgets are cut.
        When special ed budgets are cut, the disabled children are not able to reach their full potential.
        When the disabled children are not able to reach their full potential, they require more help from our tattered safety net.
        When they require more help from the tattered safety net, either taxes must go up or they wind up in vinylspear’s swamp tent.
        When they wind up in vinlyspear’s swamp tent, they get confused and angry and you need to pay for more police protection and taxes go up.
        Don’t take money from public education.
        Pay the fuck now or pay more later!

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  6. Republicans are lying today. Already a judge has ruled Oklahoma’s Ban on Gay Marriage Is Unconstitutional

    A federal judge in Oklahoma ruled Tuesday that the state’s constitutional amendment barring same-sex marriage violated the federal Constitution, the latest in a string of legal victories for gay rights and one that occurred in the heart of the Bible Belt.

    The state’s ban on marriage by gay and lesbian couples is “an arbitrary, irrational exclusion of just one class of Oklahoma citizens from a governmental benefit,” wrote Judge Terence C. Kern of United States District Court for the Northern District of Oklahoma, in Tulsa, deciding a case that had languished for nine years. The amendment, he said, is based on “moral disapproval” and does not advance the state’s asserted interests in promoting heterosexual marriage or the welfare of children.

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  9. Family Research Council President Fears Humanity Will Die Out Due to Gay Rights

    Family Research Council president Tony Perkins told Washington Watch listeners last Friday that they should oppose gay equality because it will lead to the end of humanity.

    Perkins agreed with a caller who said that gay people should be asked how they could exist “if it were not for physical relationship, intimacy between a man and a woman,” a point which followed a long rant about how President Obama is a Muslim under the influence of the Devil.

    http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/family-research-council-president-fears-humanity-will-die-out-due-gay-rights

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    • January 13, 2014 |

      Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the group that runs the Kentucky-based Creation Museum, is offering members a new DVD called “ The Homosexual War: A Biblical View.”

      The DVD shows a lecture that Todd Friel of Wretched Radio delivered at AIG’s 2013 Mega Conference, in which he gave the message that while “homosexuals are victoriously waving the rainbow flag,” it is now “time to raise the Christian flag.”

      For years, Christians have been waving the American flag. Today, homosexuals are victoriously waving the rainbow flag. Some would suggest it is time for us to raise the white flag. Perhaps there is a better, more biblical option.

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    • Roger Ailes’ Rampant Sexism Revealed in New Biography
      Fox News Chief would become livid when he couldn’t see female anchors’ legs on air.

      Sherman relayed an anecdote of Ailes regarding former Fox News reporter Kiran Chetry: “Anchor Bob Sellers remembered Ailes once calling the control booth. ‘I was doing the weekend show with Kiran Chetry. He called up and said, ‘Move that damn laptop, I can’t see her legs!'”

      “Be more opinionated,” he told Crier in one meeting. “The guests are there as a foil for you.” He also disagreed with her dress. “He had admiration for her legs,” a senior executive said. In one meeting, Ailes barked, “Tell Catherine I did not spend x-number of dollars on a glass desk for her to wear pant suits.” [The Loudest Voice in the Room, pg 238]

      http://www.alternet.org/roger-ailes-rampant-sexism-revealed-new-biography

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  13. QOTD:

    “It all makes sense now. Gay marriage and marijuana are being legalized at the same time. Leviticus 20:13 says that if a man lays with another man, he should be stoned. We were just misinterpreting it,” – CertifiedFunny.com.

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  15. I have a Tigger update for Ebb.

    She figured out that having her sore swabbed with peroxide makes her feel better and, while it’s still a struggle, she seems to be healing nicely and even her bad breath is subsiding. However, I’ve created a monster. She doesn’t normally eat “people food” but I dropped a little scrap of my leftover duck and she gobbled it up. I gave her a couple more scraps and, since she was chowing down on them, figured I would give her the stuff stuck to the cutting board. Well? Apparently she thought I was going to take it away from her and she growled at me when I got too close!

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  16. I’m not getting the point being made that Wendy Davis (D-Tx, potential Governor) has ‘outraised’ Republican Greg Abbott $12.2 million to $11.5 million. That’s only the ‘over the counter money’. It’s the ‘dark money’ or ‘under the table money’ that can’t be counted that matters.

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    • He’s making more in a shorter amount of time…

      …Democrat, pulled in $12 million over the past six months; Abbott, a Republican, raised $11.5 million over the past three months…

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