Well, folks, the long awaited Traffic Study commissioned by Governor Chris Christie that necessitated the closure of 3 out of 4 toll boths on the busiest bridge in the world has now been released. Among its findings are:
- If you shut down the world’s busiest bridge, you create the world’s greatest gridlock.
- If you create the world’s greatest greatest gridlock, it will have a negative impact on the economy.
- If you cause a negative impact on the economy, people are going to ask why.
- If people ask why, you will have to lie.
- If you have to lie, an angel loses its wings.
- If an angel loses its wings, it falls to earth and becomes Satan.
- If an angel becomes Satan, gays will get married.
- If you want to keep gays from getting married, don’t shut down the world’s busiest bridge.
IT’S HUMP DAY!