Wednesday, March 13, 2019: HUMP DAY

BREAKING GNUS: TRUMP TO DECLARE NATIONAL EMERGENCY TO RESTRICT FLOW OF MELANIN TO THE UNITED STATES.

Unnamed sources within the Deep State released a bombshell that has thus far gone unnoticed by the mainstream media. Trump intends to declare a national emergency and impose severe restrictions on the flow of melanin into the United States.

“The United States is being overrun by melanin.” Trump is supposed to have declared behind closed doors. “Our current laws are inadequate to keep melanin from crossing our borders. People who bring in melanin also bring in violence, disease, and disorder. They are trying to destroy the very fabric of the American People.” Trump posted, in a now-deleted tweet.

Orders under Trump’s Melanin Emergency include barring entry at the border to individuals with excess melanin. However, this won’t apply to people with commercially enhanced melanin. Trump’s executive order will, however, impose a tax on tanning salons, lotions & creams. “The only way to regulate melanin is to tax it.” Trump is reportedly have to had said. “By taxing melanin, we can make sure only the right people have access to it.”

Trump’s emergency declaration and executive orders are planned to be the springboard for his re-election bid to “Make America White Again.”

(Descending into) March Madness – Week One Gnus

Let’s start with some bad news, hopefully I’ll come up with some good news later.

First, to get it out of the way, the first Manafort sentence – WTF was the judge in the VA Manafort trial thinking, 47 MONTHS? “…an otherwise blameless life…”? This is the guy whose lobbying firm partners were Roger “Nixon Tattoo” Stone and Lee “Evil Incarnate” Atwater, the slimiest trio of political operatives in several decades. Not to mention all of his foreign entanglements with vicious dictators. “Blameless?!” And poor, poor Manafort, so “humiliated and shamed” during the court proceedings. Not “humbled and ashamed”, of course. No, he was “humiliated and shamed” because he had to be seen, even if just in court drawings, in jumpsuit and chains with graying hair, instead of his usual natty expensive suits and jet-black coif. Oh, and there’s the gout, can’t forget the gout- that’s what the wheelchair is for, to remind everyone. Funny how that gout hit him once he was jailed, because in all of the videos we see of Manafort going into and out of courtrooms, he seemed to be walking just fine.

That nominal sentence is a goddamn outrage. A slap on the wrist for an unremorseful lifelong thug, and (another) slap in the face to justice in these United States. I’d go on a good rant, but I’m concerned about my blood pressure. And sanity. 😦

Moving on…

For some reason which I don’t currently remember, I’ve been getting these ‘breaking news’ emails from “Christian Headlines”. Regardless…I got one this afternoon and the title of the article is pretty frightening: “Judge Lets Father Represent Aborted Baby in Wrongful-Death Suit.” Yeah, here we go down an extremely slippery slope, deliberately greased by religious fanatics and misogynistic politicians. This “personhood” nonsense is unconstitutional and dangerous.

According to the article by Michael Foust:

“An Alabama judge has let a wrongful death lawsuit proceed in which a father is suing an abortion clinic on behalf of his aborted unborn child…The lawsuit references a constitutional amendment passed by Alabama voters last year stating “it is the public policy of this state to recognize and support the sanctity of unborn life and the rights of unborn children.”

“The case in Alabama is chilling because it represents the real-life consequences of anti-choice ‘personhood’ policies, which, by design, seek to demote the fundamental rights of women, and are a stepping stone in the anti-choice movement’s ultimate goal of criminalizing abortion and punishing women,” Kimmell [Adrienne Kimmell, V.P of NARAL Pro-Choice America] said. “To see it playing out in this case in Alabama should serve as a grave warning sign.”

(But the good news from Christian Headlines is that you can have “free devotions from Dr. Charles Stanley sent right to your door!” Okay, I was a Roman Catholic, so I have no idea what that means.)

Next…

We all remember what a mendacious git Judge Andrew Napolitano has been in the past. So he continues to surprise me in his appearances on Fox by his relative frankness regarding trump’s myriad legal troubles and appearance of guilt. I wish that Napolitano would apprise his Fox viewers of his opinion as published in yesterday’s Washington Times. Yes, sorry it’s the WT, but it’s actually worth the read. And while I take issue with a few things, i.e., his reference to trump’s “tormenters”; and his interpretation of the Republican-destroyed rule that “politics ends where the water’s edge begins” (that doesn’t mean that the House can’t hold hearings while trump is out “negotiating” with a murderous dictator), Napolitano did clarify some things about which I, at least, had been curious. Just one excerpt:

“Can a lawyer testify against his own client? What has become of the attorney-client privilege? These are sound questions that were not asked last week because of something called the crime-fraud exception. Normally, all communications between a client and his lawyer are privileged from revelation. The exception comes when the lawyer can demonstrate that he and the client were together engaged in criminal or fraudulent acts.”

You’ll have to read the rest, for some reason I can’t copy-and-paste from the Washington Times article.

Let’s get to some cheerier stuff…

Like the penguins in this snippet on Twitter – play it with the sound on, and watch all the way ’til the end. Enjoy!

Also, too…

April the Giraffe is due to give birth any moment, and you can watch her here.** April may have calved by the time I post this, but in that case the morning might bring us a little cutie like this:

UPDATE:  March 13th, 12:26am ET, still no baby giraffe.  I’ve heard that April was more than a month late with her last calf, so…watch this space!

**UPDATE!:  Baby BOY giraffe born approximately 12:42pm ET on Saturday, March 16th.  5′-11″ (taller than our own Zookeeper!) and 139 lbs.  Baby to be named in some sort of contest in the near future.  In the meantime, you can watch mom April and the little guy (with dad Oliver in the far pen) live, almost 24/7, here. (The link is a new one, the one above has been taken down for archiving.)

Lastly…

Doesn’t everyone need a hug?

This is our Open Thread – batten down the hatches, ’cause we’re in for some rough political weather!

Sporadically Gnuz Special

Howdy Critters.
Sorry for the lengthy absences, but life, family and work seem to take up 105% of my time these days.

Not to mention the miserable state of our dis-union.

But, here’s another episode of Sporadic Gnuz, pried from the cold dead hands of the Guttenberg digital press.

Supreme Court on 5-to-4 vote blocks restrictive Louisiana abortion law
H/T Wa Po

A big fat up yours to the tiny horde of internet trolls predicting a swift end to Roe v. Wade.
And, not just up yours, but perhaps with a yard long strand of rusty barbed wire.

And,
Young People Really, Really Want a Green New Deal
H/T The Nation
More heartening Gnuz.
Now we just need to get the hell out of their way and kick out all the azzhole politicians in their way.

Finally,
AOC Lays Bare How Dark Money Corrupts Everything
In Thursday’s hearing on HR 1, Democrats’ ethics bill, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez used her time to demonstrate how dark money corrupts everything.
H/T C&L

Open Thread, cherish it and tuck it into bed tonight!

RUCerious @TPZoo

Daily Gnuz – New and Improved!

Well, at least New, as in New Year.
Sorry about the hiatus, been buried at work and raising the two kids…

Anyhoo, here’s what appears to be passing as Gnuz these days.

Here’s Trump’s latest offer to end the shutdown — and why Democrats aren’t interested
H/T Vox
The TrumpShutdown now at historical length, baby making doodoos in his Depends to get his WaLL.
Sad.

And,
Internet brutally mocks Trump after he claims the wall worked in San Antonio — which is nowhere near border
H/T Raw Story
No mocking of this fake Prezidunce is brutal enough.

Finally,
Immigration hardliners blast Trump’s shutdown deal offer
H/T Politico
Poor T.Rump. Caught between the CoulterBaugh and the Nuck&Chancy nightmare. Most likely consoling himself with mountains of cold Big Macs.

Open Thread, pick it up and run with it!

RUCerious @TPZoo

Daily Gnuz – Christmas Week

Hey Critters! Sorry for my extended absence. Been working my fanny off and finally get some time to breathe.

Today, the day after Christmas, I’m not going to give us too much bad gnuz…

This is what Christmas looked like the year you were born – for me – 1948
Irving Berlin, Jinx Falkenburg, and Bob Hope spent Christmas 1948 overseas entertaining the troops – and got into some hijinks at the same time.

H/T MSN

And,
5 moments that show 2018 was marijuana legalization’s biggest year yet
From Canada to Michigan to California, marijuana legalization had a very big year.

H/T Vox

Finally,
Larry Flynt trolls Don Jr. by hiring mistress that blew up Trump’s marriage to New Year’s Eve soiree
H/T Raw Story
Karmic Ending. Enjoy

Happy New Year to you all!

Open Thread, pick it up and run with it!

RUCerious @TPZoo

Open Thread: Merry Christmas, all y’all!

I think you guys have figured out by now that this is my favorite holiday video, so you won’t be surprised that I’m forcing it down your gullet again this year.  🙂

I hope all of the Critters and Zoosters are doing well, or at least hanging in there as well as you can.  I know I’m suffering from a severe case of OrangeFuckwititis, and am hopeful it will be resolved in 2019.

Frankly, 2018 can join 2017, and the pair of them can fuck right off.  Who’s with me? 😉

Stop by and say “HI”; I’ll be checking in several times on Christmas, so I’ll say “HI” backatcha.  Or feel free to post music, tell jokes, rant, or whatever.

Merry Christmas, everyone!!

Daily-ish Gnuz

Welcome to Frigga’s Friggin day, end of a monstrous week for OrangeGuy, and in other GNUZ…

HuffPost: Trump Considering Son-In-Law Kushner For Chief Of Staff Job
H/T TPM
Well, Nepotism has its ups and downs, ins and outs, so just go to Jared for some cheap baubles…

And,
We read Democrats’ 8 plans for universal health care. Here’s how they work.
H/T Vox
Whoa there! This makes a buttload of sense. Run on THIS in 2020!

Finally,
‘A massive cover-up of really unparalleled proportion’: Former prosecutor argues Trump’s crimes are of a much ‘larger’ scale than just collusion
H/T Alternet
No surprises here, just the Grifter-In_Chief plying his corrupt wares…

Open Thread, sling it over your shoulder and run with it!

RUCerious @TPZoo