With less than four weeks to the Republican National Convention and more and more establishment Republicans jumping ship, the RNC took the unusual step of suing its presumed nominee – – for hijacking the Republican base. The Republican Party invested hundreds of millions of dollars cultivating a base of voters whom it could rely upon in election after election, ever since they embraced the “Dixiecrats” in the 60s. Hate radio and the Christian Coalition groomed this potent block of voters. Gerrymandering insured this small but reliable base would elect establishment Republicans at every level of government. Then Trump came along and, like the pie-eyed piper, swept them away from the establishment candidates. The ones like Ted Cruz, whose evangelical Christian values were primed to put him into the Whitehouse.
Indeed, in the days before the RNC filed its lawsuit, those in the Cruz camp were trying to muster enough votes to change the rules – – to allow delegates to break from Trump if voting for him violates their moral or religious beliefs. However, such a move would be sure to pit “family values” Christians against misogynist, racist, xenophobic Christians, further fracturing the Republican base.
The lawsuit, filed in the United States District Court Northern District of Ohio that includes Cleveland, Ohio in its jurisdictional boundaries, seeks a writ of mandate, or, in the alternative, a restraining order that would strip Trump of all of his elected delegates. Should it succeed, the Republican Convention would be wide open. The Republican Party could even nominate someone who never participated in the primaries.
When asked about the lawsuit, Trump seemed to be taken off-guard.
“They’re suing me?” he asked. “The Republican Party is suing the most winningest candidate ever? Well, I can tell you this. I’m gonna sue them! I’m gonna sue them like they’ve never been sued before. I’m gonna sue them so hard and so fast they’ll be begging to drop their lawsuit. And then I’m gonna sue them for suing me. I know lawsuits, and believe me, this is gonna be one doozy of a lawsuit. And I’m gonna win. Because that’s what I do. I win. I’m gonna sue and I’m gonna win. And it’s gonna be a big win. A huge win. This win will make all other wins seem like losses in comparison, it’s gonna be that big of a win. And I’m gonna make the Republican Party pay for this win, it’s gonna be that big.”
Meanwhile, Sarah Palin was seen packing up her Constitution and Flag-wrapped RV and heading for Cleveland.
Well, it’s that time of year again. Time for self-identified Conservative Christians (an oxymoron, since Jesus could never have been mistaken for a conservative) to gather together and show the world all the hate in their hearts. Yes, it’s the Family Research Council’s 2014 Values Voters Summit, where the elite will never meet, nor the smart start to take part (according to one of their featured speakers). [Courtesy of the good people at Right Wing Watch. A project of People For the American Way dedicated to monitoring and exposing the activities of the right-wing movement.]
But it’s also the place, for reasons that defy conventional logic, where Republicans who one day hope to be the legal occupant of the White House (or a self-serving Member of Congress) feel they must go to solidify their conservative credentials, which is really ironic since there are precious few true conservative values expressed there. Oh, sure, there’s all the gay-bashing Islamophobia one could ever hope to see, but that isn’t true Conservatism. It might be considered Christian Conservatism, but as I said before, that’s an oxymoron. If there’s one thing about Christianity that this Atheist knows for certain, it’s the Golden Rule: Treat other people the way you would like them to treat you. (It also happens to be my own personal guiding principle in life. I just don’t need a fear of going to Hell – which not everyone believes in, including Jews – to make me follow it.) And while I have personal doubts about whether or not the Biblical character known as Jesus actually existed, I’m pretty sure the person described in that book (or in most versions of it) would not say the kinds of things they say at the Values Voters Summit.
For example, there was Bishop E.W. Jackson (the “E.W.” stands for “Everybody’s Wingnut”), who falsely claimed that the Bible defines marriage as being between one man and one woman. Actually, if you read it carefully, that’s not what it says. There’s plenty of polygamy going on in the Bible, including with that of the first King of Israel, David (probably not his real name.) So it is factually incorrect, an important point if you wish to express a valid opinion, to say that marriage “has always been defined” as being between one man and one woman. You don’t even have to go to the Bible for proof. The people living here before the Europeans showed up and screwed everything up had a very different view of marriage. For one thing, it didn’t involve God. For another, it didn’t involve monogamy.
Then there was former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee dropping the huckaboom on the attendees by telling them that the reason Mitt Romney lost in 2012 was because Conservative Christians stayed home. The only problem is that opinion is not supported by the facts. Even Ralph Reed’s organization had polling data that showed exactly the opposite. And they were the only ones who noticed. But why let pesky things like facts get in the way of a good talking point. Or a talking point, anyway.
Then there was former half-Governor Sarah Palin, the woman who tried to be one grumpy old man’s heartbeat away from the presidency. (Do you know who she is?) Palin tried to make the point that…that, well…you know, it’s hard to figure out what point she was trying to make. She seemed more concerned with throwing out standard right-wing insults (Alinsky!) than she was with making a coherent statement. And, like so much of the right wing media, she had to get her digs in on what has become known in conservative circlejerks as the “latte salute.” And like so much of the right wing media’s trash-talking, this was a non-scandal (along with all the other non-scandals Palin rattled off.) There is no requirement that the President do anything in return when a military person salutes him. In fact, presidents didn’t even bother returning salutes until Ronald Reagan started doing it back in the early eighties, and that’s probably because he forgot he wasn’t in the 1st Motion Picture unit anymore. Seriously, it is not as big a deal as they are making it out to be, but that’s because they’ve got nothing, not even the values they claim to have.
Which brings me to one simple question about the “Values Voters Summit”: Whose values? You see, when it comes to defining morality (which, I’m sure the attendees at the summit didn’t know, Ronald Reagan said you can’t legislate), conservatives add more things to the definition than liberals, and give them equal weight! According to Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s studies,
…morality is not just about how we treat each other (as most liberals think); it is also about binding groups together, supporting essential institutions, and living in a sanctified and noble way. When Republicans say that Democrats “just don’t get it,” this is the “it” to which they refer.
Liberals tend to value fairness and equal justice much higher than conservatives, who value all those things listed as equally important. This would explain why Conservative Christians think only Christians should have First Amendment protections, or that only Christians have morals that matter. This is just self-referential opinion, confirmed by other Conservative Christian sources. It’s also a bunch of hypocrisy, since there is nothing “sanctified or noble” about gathering together and bashing the morality of more than half the country.
This is our daily open thread. Feel free to talk about the loonies at the VVS, or anything else you wish to discuss.
Yesterday, CNN’s Wolf Blitzer (who was actually born Cow Blitzer) tormented his viewers by hosting retiring Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann for a discussion on The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, commonly known as “Obamacare” by its supporters and “the end of Civilization as we know it” by its detractors. During the conversation (it wasn’t really an “interview” because she pretty much evaded answering just about every single question Blitzer put to her), Bachmann brought up the myth that the ACA has “death panels” in it. And while she also brought up a great number of other lies (I only noticed Blitzer pushing back on one of them, to which she said she would send him the proof; yeah, right), I want to focus on just the one about the death panels. They don’t exist.
Sarah Palin’s opportunistic and unceasing attacks on a sitting United States President, during a time of war, have earned her the scorching attention of Pravda.
By attacking the democratically elected President of the United States of America at a sensitive time in her country’s history, she shows the tact of a boorish drunkard bawling obscenities at a funeral….
Yowie!!
Our own media won’t say Palin’s a traitor — probably because they want to spare us the high-pitched self-pitying whining screech that would emit from Palin and her wingnut protectors — or maybe just because they’re lazy.
But wait, there’s more…
If anything is a threat to the national security of the United States of America, it is this screaming, unrefined oaf with as much class as a searing release of flatulence followed by hysterical giggling at a state banquet. Is this what the people of the USA deserve?
Srsly, could anyone say it any better than this?
Bottom line, Sarah Palin and her ilk are traitors to this country. Not because they constantly attack President Obama — he can take their annoying buzzing — but because they loosen the fabric of this nation by picking at threads. Day after day, inch by inch, insidiously they do their best to shred what it means to be American.
This past weekend a group of “delegates” held a “Constitutional Convention” in the Bohemian Grove, a coastal redwood forest near the tiny town of Monte Rio, California.
Headed by none other than former Governor Sarah Palin, the group set about on a monumental task of rewriting the Constitution of the United States of America. Sources reveal their plan is to introduce their new Constitution shortly after Republicans regain control of the Senate and the White House, together with control of the legislatures of 38 States, ensuring its passage.
Eyewitnesses report the Grove had various notable politicos and various influential guests arriving and departing at all hours of the day and night, including brief visits by Michelle Bachmann, the Koch Brothers, Ann Coulter, Mitt Romney and Ginther, a local stand-up comic that does Al Jolsen imitations with a Southern German accent.
After the “Constitutional Convention” wrapped up, local dumpster divers, looking for left-over filet mignon, lobster and abalone, discovered a copy of their final-revised-completed-top-top-top-secret menu, as well as the handwritten copy of our next Constitution.
We, here at The Zoo, have spared no expense to bring this highly sensitive, potentially politically explosive document to you, our beloved Readers.
PREAMBLE
We, the Citizens of this Great God-Given Land, in order to form a more Perfect Union between us and Our Lord and Savior, and to prepare the way for His Coming, as He has promised us He would, do hereby adopt this Constitution of the Citizens United States of America.
ARTICLE 1
Congress.
Congress is useless, and a waste of taxpayer’s money. All laws shall be proposed by the United Citizens of this Great Country by posting them online on Facebook, or other such similar website as the President may declare from time to time. Those proposed laws that receive the most votes shall become law, unless of course, the President disagrees, in which case it shall not become a law, but it will be deemed a good idea anyway.
ARTICLE 2
The President.
The President is God’s Representative here on earth. He, or She, reigns supreme over the land, and the fighting forces, and all the animals and plants and birds and fishes and natural resources.
The President shall be elected by a direct vote of the people eligible to vote, that is, white men who own property, just as our Founding Fathers wanted. All votes shall be tabulated by Deibold voting machines, or by such similar machines as a successor company shall make. Votes shall be counted according to the net worth of the voter.
ARTICLE 3
The Judiciary.
The Courts shall deal with criminal matters only. People with civil disputes should resolve them before God, not a judge.
ARTICLE 4
Full Faith and Credit.
We put our Full Faith and Credit in God. All previous debts and obligations incurred by the United States when it was in the throes of pagan, heathen, secular-humanist, liberals are hereby refudiated.
ARTICLE 5
Taxes.
None.
ARTICLE 6
Amendments to this Constitution.
Ain’t gonna happen.
ARTICLE 7
Marriage.
Gay people can’t get married.
ARTICLE 8
Guns.
People can buy all the guns and ammo they can afford.
ARTICLE 9
Abortion.
See Article 6.
Oh, and all the previous laws of the United States are hereby declared null and void and to no effect whatsoever. And States, you can do whatever you want as long as you don’t want to do anything that’s not allowed by this Constitution.
Listen my children and you shall hear Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere, On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five; Hardly a man is now alive Who remembers that famous day and year… [I guess that explains it]
Showing the now famous clip of Sarah Palin, sharing her own version of historical events (the ride of Paul Revere) during her recent visit to North Boston, Colbert had this to say: “I could not have said a random string of words better..”
Stephen decides to prove that Paul Revere could have ridden a horse while ringing a bell and firing multiple warning shots from a front-loading musket.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
After Sarah Palin was called out this week by Chris Wallace of FOX News on her messup of historical facts, this was her response:
You know what? I didn’t mess up about Paul Revere. Here is what Paul Revere did. He warned the Americans that the British were coming, the British were coming, and they were going to try take our arms, and we got to make sure that we were protecting ourselves and shoring up all of ammunitions and our firearms so that they couldn’t take it.
And then this:
“In a shout-out, gotcha type of question that was asked of me, I answered candidly. And I know my American history.”
What have you seen so far today [in Boston], and what are you going to take away from your visit?
Here’s that video:
Her response to the ‘gotcha’ question:
“We saw where Paul Revere hung out as a teenager, which was something new to learn. And, you know, he who warned the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms by ringing those bells and making sure, as he is riding his horse through town, to send those warning shots and bells, that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free.”
By now you’ve probably heard of Palin’s recounting of the Midnight Ride of Paul Revere:
He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed.
The Zoo recently came into possession of documents which some scholars feel may be Palin’s actual notes she wrote while studying American History in College. We share those with you, our dear readers, so that you might have a better understanding of our history and culture, through the eyes of our next President of the United States of America:
The Pilgrims came to America in 1492 wearin their funny hats and shoes and buckles because they wanted religious freedom so they escaped from Nazi Germany because Hitler was sending all the Jews to Israel and they didn’t want to go to Israel because there was no oil there. So they drove their Plymoth over the rocks to Manhatten where they met a bunch of Indians. The Indians said they owned Manhatten, but they didn’t have any birth certificates, so the Pilgrims, naturally knowing the Indians were here illegally, but being good Christians and good neighbors and all gave the Indians a gift certificate to buy them some jewelery at Tiffanies and the Indians gave Manhatten to the Pilgrims so they could practice their religious freedoms and burn the witches that picked all their May flowers.
Our Founding Fathers fought the American Revolution and fired that shot heard around the world because they warned the British not to dump all their tea into the harbor and destroy our freedoms and of religion, too, and they had the right to bear arms. and free markets.
The Civil war was fought by our founding fathers after that greatest of all Republican Presidents Ronald Reagan freed the slaves. The southern states weren’t very civil about it and so they called it the Civil War but the southern states wanted socialism and so that’s why they lost. But once the slaves were free they shot Abraham Lincoln because they didn’t want all that personal responsibility and accountability and so that’s why Democrats gave them welfare so they wouldn’t have to work anymore after their slavery was taken away from them.
On Saturday, a man named Jared Lee Loughner murdered six people, and wounded thirteen others, including Rep Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona, who is in critical condition (as of this writing) with a bullet to her brain.
These are the dead:
Phyllis Scheck, 79
Dorthy Murray, 76
Dorwin Stoddard, 76
John M. Roll, 63
Gabriel Zimmerman, 30
Christina Green, 9
Tell me something Sarah Palin, Sharron Angle, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, and Fox News et al: When is enough enough? When do you feel like you’ve “won?” How much blood must be shed, in the name of your twisted ideology? What is it going to take for you to SHUT UP?
Who will be the next Scott Roeder…Richard Popalowski…Jim Adkisson…Byron Williams…or Jared Lee Loughner? Who will be the next unbalanced crackpot, sitting next to his/her radio or television, soaking up the despicable noxious bloviations gushing from your loathsome mouths, and deciding that the best thing to do about your egregious hyperbole is to take a gun and blast people out of existence? Who!?
Don’t worry, no one expects any tearful retractions — as if such a thing is even possible — or heartfelt mea culpas. No no no no, we all know that there was no way you could have anticipated the effect your vomitous spewing would have on the odd unbalanced individual. Heavens no! Hearing Bill O’Reilly’s pompous pontificating over “Tiller the baby killer” or Glenn Beck’s paranoid ravings about the Tides Foundation or Sarah Palin’s thoughtless and provocative hit list with gun cross-hairs couldn’t possibly have any adverse effect, right?
Well, Sarah Palin is right about one thing. It IS time to take a stand — against the likes of her, O’Reilly, Beck, Limbaugh, and so many others whose main purpose in life is to foment hatred and violence, while making tons of money in the process of shredding the fabric of this country.
This stops now — a little girl named Christina Green will never see her 10th birthday, because of YOU.
So she really thought there weren’t some idiots out there who would put a bullett where she indicated it should go? So she really thought words have no consequences? Advocating political assassination was a hallmark of the German right between the World Wars. It was a hallmark of NAZISM! Sarah Palin is an accomplice to six counts of murder and 12 counts of shooting with the intent to kill. Period.
UPDATE: BREAKING NEWS:
Sadly we can add 5 more to the total, and one wounded Democratic member of the House of Representatives:
By TERRY TANG, AMANDA LEE MYERS and DAVID ESPO, Associated Press Terry Tang, Amanda Lee Myers And David Espo, Associated Press – 47 mins ago
TUCSON, Ariz. – Rep. Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona was shot in the head Saturday when an assailant opened fire outside a grocery store during a meeting with constituents, killing at least five people and wounding several others in a rampage that rattled the nation.
Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is planning a trip to London and a visit with former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, her staff has confirmed to POLITICO.
In a Facebook post scheduled to go up Monday, Palin writes: “I have received an invitation for a visit to London, and part of that invitation included the offer of arranging a meeting between myself and one of my political heroines, the ‘Iron Lady,’ Margaret Thatcher.”
“I would love to meet her and hope I’ll be able to arrange the trip in the future,” Palin writes of the former conservative leader whom the former governor frequently cites in speeches. (read more)
She is suffering from dementia and I won’t say who.
For eighteen years, he worked for BP in the North Slope oil fields of Alaska. In 2007, in order to avoid a conflict of interest relating to his wife’s position as governor, he took a leave[10] from his job as production supervisor when his employer became involved in natural gas pipeline negotiations with his wife’s administration.[3] Seven months later, because the family needed more income, Todd returned to BP. In order to avoid potential conflict of interest, this time he accepted a non-management position as a production operator.[1][10] He resigned from his job on September 18, 2009, with the stated reason of spending more time with his family.[11]
The family needed more income, that was before she got all those clothes?
All cartoons are posted with the artists’ express permission to TPZoo. Nick Anderson, Houston Chronicle Editorial Cartoonist and Animation Artist.
For Nick’s animations, visit Nick Anderson: Animation Archives.
For Nick’s cartoons, visit Nick Anderson.
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